Papa's Got A Brand New Box
James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, who tragically died on Christmas Day 2006, is still innovating right up to his funeral.
Read full storyApple unveils new product
Apple continue to expand their line of products with their latest offering, the iSock. This revolutionary device has the same ability as the iPod to play any songs from Apple's iTunes website, and also keeps your feet warm.
Read full storyHigh-tech phishing philter combats gum disease e-virus
Silicon Valley - (Ass Mess)): A wizard new cyber tool which scans data files for the dreaded gum disease e-virus has been hailed a success after its launch by AppleCore Scambusters. The high-tech phishing philter tracks down bona-fide looking electr...
Read full storyJack in the Box introduces new "gay" menu
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA--In a press conference yesterday, Jack, CEO of The billion dollar Jack-in-the-Box corporation (JBX), announced the break up of his 13 year marriage to wife, Criket
Read full storyKate and William to adopt Iraqi baby
Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): The Lord Chamberlain, Lord Luce-Cannon, is at the heart of a controversial report that the Pretender to the Throne's son Prince William and Kate Middleton are planning on adopting an Iraqi orphan baby next year as...
Read full storyProtests Over Cartoons
Today, there were violent protests throughout the City of London about the depiction of HSBC's profit margin in a cartoon in a Danish newspaper. The protesters asked for the head of HSBC and burned a number of cheque books. Despite three deaths,...
Read full storyLabour to remove burden of elderly care with compulsory euthanasia
In a shock statement today, Health Minister, Rosie Winterton disclosed that the government is to slash the financial burden of elderly care by making euthanasia compulsory at the age of 65.
Read full storyGeordie Man Left Holding The Baby Quite Literally
A man in Newcastle was literally left holding the baby today when a strange sequence of events unfolded in Newcastle today.
Read full storyEmbryonic Stem Cell speaks out, "Don't research me!"
At approximately 4:25 am this morning, an embryonic blastocyst spoke out to the attending scientist, Mike Roman at a prominent cellular research Center in Massachussetts. The conversation caused Roman, a staunch liberal who up to this point has dilig...
Read full storyBush: "Far too much oil left in Iraq to justify pull-out"
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): President George Bush has spelled out the stark reality of what pulling out the troops from Iraq would mean to the 300 million Americans dependent on the Middle East's crude to fill up their tanks:...
Read full storySecrets of the Altair Voyager: Cheney and his lowlife hooker
California - (Ass Mess): The Chevron oil company's 2001 renaming of The Condoleezza Rice, one of their top double-hulled tankers, as The Altair Voyager may be an even greater embarrassment to Vice President Dick Cheney than previously thought ac...
Read full storyGolfer Misses Two Foot Putt And The Rest Of His Life
A man from Hertfordshire in England was today thanking his lucky stars as he was narrowly missed by a thunderbolt hurled from heaven by God.
Read full storyRodins 'Thinker' updated for Turner prize
Shock artist Tracy Emin, stunned the art world today when she revealed her latest entry for the Turner Prize. Emin, 42, unveiled the piece at her latest exhibition in the Tate modern.
Read full storyPostmodern version of Milton Bradley's 'The Game' reaches ten million in Christmas sales
Milton Bradley today announced that the company sold ten million copies of its post-modern version of The Game during the fourth quarter of 2006. As a result of dwindling sales in its once popular The Game, the company in 1998 intro...
Read full storyWW2 veterens to be utilised in war on terror
Sanatoriums and mental institutions throughout America are to be emptied of patients in a bold new move to cut the budget and fight the war against terror.
Read full story'Enry's 'Ammer To Make Sensational Comeback
Cor blimey squire! I don't Adam and Eve it but if reports from London in London England are to be believed, then boxing legend Sir Henry Cooper is coming out of retirement.
Read full storyGeorge Bush Goes 'Ape-Shit' on Prime Time TV; Orders Blood for Iraqi Oil Surge
WASHINGTON (AP)-- For the first time in history, an American President has gone totally 'ape-shit' during a prime time address to the nation. Bush began his speech by ordering a surge of some 21,000 more troops for Iraq in his quest to steal...
Read full storyCelebrities clamor for exotic babies
Not to be out done by Madonna and Bradgelina many celebrities are searching out orphaned ethnic diversity across the world.
Read full storyApple Sue Over i-words
Apple today were dishing out litigation left, right & centre. In what the company call "the threat to their brand" Apple, who are famed for their savy computers & portable music players have decided any companies using the...
Read full storyThe Spoof inundated with fork stories
A rash of fork penetrating gum stories hijacked TheSpoof.com today. The writers on the Spoof all mysteriously seemed to pick the same stock picture and write a story about it.
Read full storyDEA discovers shipment of cocaine
The Drug Enforcement Agency has uncovered a cocaine smuggling ring with an ingenious twist on the transportation and distribution of the elicit drug.
Read full storyBritney Spears, Paris Hilton's deep secret revealed
Recently speculation ran rampant in the paparazzi community as to what Paris Hilton and Britney Spears were doing associating together. They're BFF image was just so unlikely, it didn't mesh well with people.
Read full storyMan sues Catholic Church for "Non-Abuse"
Harry Pinkerton, a 39-year-old school teacher and former altar boy, is suing the Catholic church for failing to abuse him. Pinkerton claims the lack of sexual assault has damaged his self esteem.
Read full storyBizarre Flashback to 1950's in Iraq
In a bizarre return to US domestic relations of the 1950's, Iraq is undergoing an amazingly similar phenomenon. Calling it Shiite Flight, Iraqi Shiites are moving away from the cities of Iraq because of the influx of American soldiers.
Read full storyShiloh Jolie-Pitt Sells Used "Red Carpet" Gum on eBay
It all started when 8-month-old Shiloh was eating her breakfast and heard on the radio that her mom, Angelina Jolie, had referred to her as a "blob."...
Read full storyCold Snap Hits US; Bush Declares Victory Over Global Warming
Chilly winter temperatures returned to most of the US today, prompting President Bush to say that the global warming problem had finally been overcome. Much of the eastern half of the US had previously been experiencing extremely warm temperatures,...
Read full storyStrange Love Triangle Ends in Murder-Suicide in Catholic HS Language Dept
In one of the most unusual crime stories of the century, three bodies were found in the resource room of St Salvatore Pointius HS this week. At first everyone including the police were stumped by the grizzly discovery. Little by little, facts began t...
Read full storyThe Guide to Etiquette in the 21st Century
The latest people to write the Emily Post, Amy Vanderbilt, Ann Landers, Dear Abby, and Hints from Heloise column have all joined together to create a guide for etiquette in the 21st century.
Read full storyAustralian Crocodiles in Depression Due to Loss of Steve Irwin
Depression has hit the Australian swamps and prozac and paxil prescriptions have gone up dramatically in the last few months. Psychologists, Zookeepers, and Veterinarians are blaming this on the death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin.
Read full storyBritney Spears to be Featured on Cover of National Geographic
Pop icon Britney Spears will be featured on the cover of the February National Geographic. The singer is to be shown in her natural environment, doing the things that most single mothers do. The story is expected to include shots of Britney arrivin...
Read full storyThames dredging plans to recover cocaine
London - (Rioters): Forensic testing of the River Thames has found a high concentration of cocaine after storm drains burst during recent wintry gales and narcotic-infested effluent poured into the upper reaches of the river causing millions of fish...
Read full story