Chris De Bergh Deported To Iran In Terror Scare Tactics
Warbling tosser Chris De Bergh has been deported to Iran by Gordon Brown after a special request by President President George Bush in an effort to scare the Iranians into submission.
Read full story2nd Amendment Comes Under Fire By U.S. Supreme Court
(Washington) - The U.S. Supreme Court today announced it would rule on a landmark case involving the second amendment to the U.S. Constitution; the right of private citizens to bare arms ...
Read full storyGlobal Warming? I'm Freezing!
(Los Angeles) - Despite the hysterical warnings of scientists, celebrities, politicians and ex-Vice Presidents, many U.S. residents, including those in warm sunny Southern California, are experiencing some of the coldest winter weather on record ...
Read full storyRon Paul Tea Party completely bombs
In what was predicted to be a historical day in politics, December 16, 2007, the so-called Ron Paul Tea Party Money Bomb has, well, bombed.
Read full storyKylie Declared Queen Of The Jungle Despite Last Minute Hitch
Diminutive pop Svengali, Simon Cowell, was today breathing a sigh of relief as his plans to have Australian pop princess and songstress, Kylie Minogue, declared winner of the X-Factor nearly went all Pete Tong.
Read full storyFascist-On-Sunday fears death of Puppet Monarch
Fleet Street - (Diabolical Mess): A UK Sunday tabloid has warned its readers to prepare themselves for dire circumstances in the event of the Puppet Monarch's death.
Read full storyGift Wrapping Tips for Men
It is very important to know how to give gifts properly. Someone told me to look at the biblical account (Matthew's gospel to be precise) to find out how the very first Christmas went; when the Wise Men went to see the baby Jesus; "they presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."...
Read full storyUK Crisis - Queen Broadcasts to the Nation
London, England (AR) As Big Ben struck 9 PM on the first night of curfew the streets of London were eerily quiet, but most Londoners were anyway glued to their televisions for Her Royal Highness the Queen's official announcement, the full text of...
Read full storyAnother Brilliant X-Factor Winner Leon To Top Charts
In the travesty that is "The X-Factor" yet another "gorgeous" blank-faced boy has won the competition, successfully out-manouvering any contestant with a semblance of talent by looking at the camera with weepy puppy-dog eyes.
Read full storyPresidential Candidates Keeping Fit on the Campaign Trail
IOWA - Tough guy Dennis Kucinich competes every Friday night in local kickboxing matches. "I use my yoga martial arts training to beat the snot out of my opponent." His...
Read full storyWombles Reduced to Picking Up Syringes on Common
Formerly famous TV celebrities and Royal household pets, The Wombles, have fallen on hard times since their latest series was axed due to falling viewing figures.
Read full storyDawkins announces 'Actually, I'm God!'
The famous author, atheist, geneticist and God-botherer Richard Dawkins has caused controversy by announcing that he is the all-knowing creator of the universe.
Read full storyCheney Denies Sex Change - "I'm Having A Species Change"
Vice-President Dick 'Peace, Love And Underfunding' Cheney is to have the world's first species change. Speaking from his hospital bed last night, Cheney revealed that:...
Read full storyClimate Change Deal Has 'Fixed Everything'
The recent United Nations climate change summit held in Bali has been hailed as 'a complete success' by coordinator and UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon.
Read full storyUK Immigrants are 'not British'
A shock investigation by a leading British tabloid has revealed that practically all immigrants into the United Kingdom are 'not British'. The newspaper began the investigation after repeated requests from its readers to try to explain why th...
Read full storyChristmas Past, Christmas Last
In a move hailed as a bold modernisation of community life the European Union has issued a directive cancelling future occurrences of Christmas.
Read full storyGuinness Book of Records declares the year 2007 record breaker for recalls; next year's awaited with baited breath
London, England - Contaminated wheat gluten in dog food; lead based paint in toys; spinach tainted with E. coli; peanut butter; Veggie Booty Health Snacks; fish; hamburger meat; frozen pizza; pot pies; children vaccines and the list goes on and on fo...
Read full storyGod recalls the year 2007; space-time continuum to be reset back one year at midnight on New Year's Eve; quantum mechanics fear end of the Universe
Vatican City - It's official. At the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve 2007 God will turn back the hands of time, resetting the space-time continuum back to December 31, 2006. The act of God was requested by Pope Benedict XVI when he praye...
Read full storyMuslim Chicks Featured in Iranian Version of Penthouse Magazine
Tehran, Iran (IPP) - American soldiers patrolling the area near the Iran-Iraq border stumbled into what turned out to be an Iranian version of Penthouse magazine.
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