A shock investigation by a leading British tabloid has revealed that practically all immigrants into the United Kingdom are 'not British'. The newspaper began the investigation after repeated requests from its readers to try to explain why there are 'so many funny-sounding people round here'.
For a long time now, immigration into the UK has been at a relatively high level, but it has never been thought that this would cause any trouble. Now tabloid journalists have discovered that the immigrants are not British, and are worried about the impact it could have. A spokesman said, "What if one of them tried to write a letter to a tabloid and couldn't spell English properly? We wouldn't be able to publish it, resulting in a waste of paper and a wasted delivery by the postal service. It really makes me sick."
It is thought that the immigrants may have come from as far afield as Ireland, France, and even Germany. The newspaper warned people to keep their doors locked and not to approach strangers or anyone who 'talks foreign'.
