Funny Man Bradley Walsh Says "Hello"
Funny man Bradley Walsh was seen recently in Merry Hill Shopping Centre. He'd been shopping in Currys with a mystery companion when pensioner Harold Bilko spotted the pint-sized cheeky cockney chappie.
Read full storyElton Steps In To Resolve Pearly Kings And Queens Dispute
The Spoof can report that the striking Pearly Kings and Queens of London are set to return to work after taking their case to arbitration.
Read full storyKieren Fallon off to the knackers' yard
Newmarket, Suffolk - (Associated Mess): Former champion flat jockey Kieren Fallon is hanging up the whip and boots after the ultimate nightmare of the racing authorities finding traces of urine in his cocaine sample.
Read full storyTourettes Society stands behind Michael Richards
Michael Richards Saturday attempted to rectify the out of hand situation that resulted from his racial out burst at a popular Hollywood comedy club last week. "I have suffered from, Richards stated in a press conference Saturday, and am current...
Read full storySanta Gunned Down
A man who climbed onto his roof to investigate some strange noises is now facing murder charges. A witness claims she saw the man stood in his dressing gown pointing a shotgun at a stout looking fellow on the roof. He pulled the trigger and the pl...
Read full storyBlair to apologise for Heather Mills
London - (Associated Mess): Not content with grovelling to the voting public for foisting on them the Saddam WMD fantasy, the dodgy dossier, friendship with George Bush AND the UK's involvement in the slave trade, UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is b...
Read full storyHeathrow Radiates Planes Rather Than Lighting Up Runways
Saving money, not a spy plot, is what's REALLY behind the findings of radiation traces in planes at Heathrow.
Read full storyCor Blimey! Is Van Dyke's The Worst Cockney Accent Of All Time?
In a surprise move veteran American actor Dick Van Dyke is being drafted in as voice coach for the West End Version of BBC's 'Eastenders the Musical'.
Read full storyScareforce One tests positive
Amman, Jordan - (Associated Mess): President Bush's presidential plane Scareforce One had to be quarantined today in the Jordanian capital Amman after CIA tests for Polonium 210 located traces of the toxic material on board the craft.
Read full story'Finger-twisters' cause Rumsfeld to change his Name
Following a spate of typos worldwide, former US defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, has changed his name to Rumself to lessen confusion.
Read full storyThespian takes the biscuit for impersonating Cruise ex-wife
Hollywood, CA - (Associated Mess): The Australian lookalike actress whose decade long career of impersonating Tom Cruise's ex-wife, Nicole Kidman, has been awarded the movie industry's ultimate accolade of "Hollywood Doppelganger of...
Read full storyTebbitt In Sensational Swipe At Cameron
The former Chingford skinhead, Norman Tebbit, now Baron Tebbit, is believed to be plotting to oust David Cameron from the leadership of the Tory Party.
Read full storyShrek will have live actors
DreamWorks have announced a breakthrough deal that will see the first live action adaptation of the Shrek franchise.
Read full storyWill Cannon And Ball Stop At Nothing To Get Back Into The Big Time?
Comedy Duo Cannon and Ball are at the centre of a storm today over claims that they tried to knobble ITV's golden boys Ant and Dec.
Read full storyBlair offered 'fair dig' at Prime Ministers Question Time
A row erupted today at Prime Ministers Question Time when Tony Blair was offered a 'fair dig in the carpark' by former Liberal Party leader Charles Kennedy.
Read full storyLady McCartney forgiven by public after limb op
Heather Mills McCartney, estranged wife of former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney, was recovering in hospital last night after having her remaining limbs removed.
Read full storyPope wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award
Rome - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): Pope Joseph Ratzinger has won this year's prestigious literary award for the worst example of erotica in his seminal autobiographical oeuvre 'Sixty-nine Something'.
Read full storyBush to be issued with rubber underpants
Senior Whitehouse officials confirmed yesterday that the President will, in future, be fitted with rubber underpants. The bold move came after an incident in which the President was found to have soiled himself at a top security briefing.
Read full storyShevchenko "confidence slump" after failure in barn-door training
Chelsea manager, Jose Mourinho, is reported to be sticking with troubled striker Adriy Shevchenko despite the £30 million man's inability to hit a barn-door even once during his hour-long training session at a Staffordshire stable earlier this we...
Read full storyFormer Eastenders star eaten after bush tucker fiasco
Time was being called on the television programme 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here' after former Eastenders star Dean Gaffney was brutally clubbed to death and eaten.
Read full storyThames Valley Brodcaster Webbed Up In Litvinenko Case
Berkshire commercial radio station 210 FM is desperate to disassociate itself from the Polonium 210 Litvinenko affair.
Read full storyWWE Star Reaches Rock Bottom With Little Kev
All little nine year old Kevin Plodd wanted to do was meet his hero WWE wrestling legend 'The Rock'. So imagine his excitement when he heard that the great man was going to appear at Wembley Arena in that there London.
Read full storyMysterious Panty Dissolving Bacteria Permeates Hollywood - Explains Britney's pantless situation
Scientists and biologists from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) recently located the source of a bizarre phenomena afflicting personalities and celebrities in and around the Hollywood area.
Read full storyDarth Vader spits on pavement: handed £200 fine
The Empire's deadliest agent, Darth Vader, was today handed a £200 fine by Kirklees Metropolitan Borough Council after he was caught on CCTV "spitting" in the streets of Huddersfield.
Read full storyCharlie Brown Issues In New Jazz Age
Piano teachers across America have reported a surge in the amount of children that are signing up for music lessons. Ever since the Charlie Brown Christmas Special aired for the 46th consecutive year last week, kids of all ages have been signing up f...
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