Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 30 November 2006

image for Kieren Fallon off to the knackers' yard
Fallon (Yellow) fears authorities may find urine in his cocaine sample

Newmarket, Suffolk - (Associated Mess): Former champion flat jockey Kieren Fallon is hanging up the whip and boots after the ultimate nightmare of the racing authorities finding traces of urine in his cocaine sample.

The luckless five-times champion was already suspended from riding following corruption charges allegations related to an online spread-betting scam which UK cops said was a front tool for subliminal harassment of dodgy crack dealers who were pestering riding stars of the sport of kings for loss-leader information.

Fallon is said to be devastated as his lucrative partnership with the Irish Foolmore Stud lies in ruins.

And his former boss there, Aidan O'Brien, is looking none too chipper himself as a string of yearlings purchased for clients on his recommendation suddenly begin sprouting signs of Heather Mills syndrome...

Plans for their entry into three-legged races at the Curragh next Spring are an option however.

Fallon, meanwhile, is considering an appeal while his creditors consider the fabled luck of the Irish.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Horse Racing

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