Darth Vader spits on pavement: handed £200 fine

Funny story written by KendoMonkey

Thursday, 30 November 2006

image for Darth Vader spits on pavement: handed £200 fine
Vader, 2002, during community service for previous conviction

The Empire's deadliest agent, Darth Vader, was today handed a £200 fine by Kirklees Metropolitan Borough Council after he was caught on CCTV "spitting" in the streets of Huddersfield.

The Dark Lord of the Sith, 58, was summoned to Huddersfield Magistrates this morning and was ordered to pay the fine or risk having an ASBO placed upon him. Vader spoke in his defence:

"I just had a bit of peanut stuck in my teeth from the night before. I just thought, you know, better out than in. I didn't think it would cause any offence. I'm a nice guy and you'd probably like me under other circumstances."

The judge in session Parson Mackerel declared that Vader was "a plague on society" and deserved "everything he got". Which, in this case was a small fine and a bit of a rap on the knuckles.

In associated news, Judge Mackerel was found strangled in his car this morning although coroners are saying that it is likely to have been a naturally occurring strangulation caused by breathing "funny".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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