Dakota Fanning, A New Mother
Actress Hannah Dakota Fanning has just had a baby. At 10:40PM June 15th, the young actress gave birth to a 4 pound girl which she is still discussing with her mother of whether to keep the baby or give her up for adoption, as Sheryl Crow was very r...
Read full storyThree Lions to be dropped by England
The three lions, as used on the shirts of the England football team, are to be dropped after Euro 2004 the Football Association has announced. In a press statement the FA stated that a change of emblem has been forced upon them by the discovery tha...
Read full storyCheney Admits Lying to the American Public, Maybe
June 17, 2004 - In light of the recent Senate Intelligence Committee's findings that there was no connection between Al Quaeda's 9-11 strike and Saddam Hussein, Vice-president, Dick Cheney, admitted today to a news reporter,...
Read full storyFormer D.C. Mayor Marion Barry Announces Bid, Kool-Aid Endorsement
(Washington) Former Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry, known for his past problems with cocaine use, announced this week his plans to run for office again in the district. Perhaps more surprising was Barry's statement that he had just...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden Shaves Britney Spears Daily!
The stupid American Generals think I have been hiding in caves in Afghanistan and Pakistan. I have been secretly touring with Britney Spears for the past ten months. My job has been to shave the girl every day. When I get done with her, only the hair...
Read full storySearch party ends work to find Amelia Earhart
PARIS -- The search for Amelia Earhart is over.
Read full storyAll Britney Spears news stories banned
CHICAGO -- A policy created by the United Association of Press Writers (UAPW) in a unanimous vote calls for all newspapers and agencies to ban Britney Spears stories.
Read full storyTiger Woods saves the world
BUGSWORTH, Md. -- Champion golfer Tiger Woods killed a strange sand monster with his club while playing a tournament and saved the lives of hundreds.
Read full storyRoyal Observatory Moving to America
GREENWICH. Work is now underway to transport the entire Royal Observatory from Greenwich, where it has been located since the site was owned by Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester (brother of Henry V), to an undisclosed ranch near Crawford, Texas in the Uni...
Read full storyAs It's Athens We're Having the Games
The 13th of August will herald the start of the Athens 2004 Olympic Games, or as close to it as their builders can manage.
Read full storyBritney to Wed
Britney Spears' publicist confirmed that the pop tart has found true love and will marry Cory LaRusso, a 19-year-old cook at the new McDonald's in Moline, Ill.
Read full storyCrispy Pan-Fried Noodle Cake Useful in Surgical Procedures
Crispy pan-fried noodle cake--the delicious and easy-to-make Cantonese dish described by New York Times food writer Mark Bittman in his weekly column--has been found to be useful in two new venues: to control bleeding during various ca...
Read full storyNavy buys new Fuel Efficient Warships
Pressured by rising fuel costs and the war in Iraq, the US Navy embarked on a program to reduce fuel costs, by acquiring new warships that rely on solar and wind power. Galleon Enterprises, won the bid securing an order for 150 of the fuel efficient...
Read full storyLuna Killed by "Rescuing" indians
Gold River, B.C., Canada -- Primary reports received from boaters on the Gold River indicate that the Indians from the Mowachaht First Nation tribe, who wanted to keep the killer whale Luna from being captured by Canadian and U.S. officials coaxed Lu...
Read full storyUS Visitors Now Subject to Sexual Humiliation
US immigration officials have announced that from next month, visitors to the US will be sexually humiliated as a condition of entry into the country. The procedure will involve each visitor being stripped naked and chained to a radiator, whilst reta...
Read full storyRomanian Socialist party sweep to victory in Dover by-election
In a result that is being heralded as 'the dawn of a new age in multi-cultural Britain' and derided as 'the inevitable consequence of apathy' Romanian Socialist party candidate Dejan Hagi resoundingly defeated competition from the est...
Read full storyPet passport scheme to be adopted after successful trials in humans
The results of an 89 year trial announced today by the passport office have paved the way for the phased introduction of passports for pets. Human passports have been in operation since 1915 when they replaced formal letters of introduction and guara...
Read full storyThat Swayze Swagger is back!
It was back in the late eighties that Patrick Swayze mesmerised the ladies with his hip movements but who would have thought that nearly 20 years later he would be playing for the Czech Republic.
Read full storyRepublican Party Seeks Replacement for George W. Bush
Republicans are scrambling to find a candidate to replace George W. Bush in time for the Republican National Convention in New York City this August. While six months ago President Bush looked like such a shoo in for the nomination that the GOP never...
Read full storyGreen Pants Means Third Floor
(AP) George Bush issued a Presidential proclamation today stating that all women wearing green pants must work on the third floor of the building in which they work. If the building consists of an old part and a new part they must work in the old pa...
Read full storyTop 10 Reasons Why Sonia Gandhi Declined To Become PM
10. Needs more time to learn to speak extempore and without a European accent. 9. Did not want to become the head of third-world country. 8. Did not understand the President when he asked, "Would you like to avoid controversy and let somebody else in your party become Prime Minister?," in HINDI and she simply replied, "Yes." 7. Could not find a replacement to manage the Rajiv Gandhi Found...
Read full storyInternet satire taken over by goddamn hippies
New York - Noted internet satire The Bunion has been officially taken over by goddamn hippies, sources have told The Spoof.
Read full storyBush Administration Needs Cheerleaders
Washington, DC June 16, 2004. George Bush said he is tired of constantly growing public criticism. He directed his staff to find a solution. The Bush administration promptly huddled to identify a way to reverse their daily drop in the pol...
Read full storyCheney and Bush to Make Urgent Appeal to NATO
WASHINGTON. The Bush administration has a long wish list for the NATO summit to be held at the Emerald City in Istanbul, Turkey later this month. Persuading NATO allies to shoulder more of the military burden in Iraq and Afghanistan will follow close...
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