USDA Has Cattle Industry Mad
In an effort to keep Mad Cow Disease from spreading throughout our nation's cattle, the USDA today issued new qualifications for all cattle destined for human consumption.
Read full storyBlair: More Hutton Reports Please!
Riding on the fame, notoriety and increase of groupie offers that he has gained from his triumphant outcome in the Hutton Inquiry, 'Prime' Minister Tony Blair has ordered that there be more Hutton Inquiries "to keep the NHS off the front...
Read full storyNew Diet Craze Hitting Wisconsin
Madison, WI-- In an effort to find alternatives to the popular "low-carb" diets, the University of Wisconsin has released the first reviews from its new "Butter Diet."...
Read full storyPlayers At Super Bowl To Wear Cowboy Boots, Among Other Changes
HOUSTON, TX-In a last-minute press conference, NFL officials are announcing that all football players will be forced to wear cowboy boots instead of cleats during the big game.
Read full storyThe Stain Game
Massachusetts Senator John F. Kerry has won both the Iowa Caucus and the New Hampshire Primary, but a new contender is making surprising inroads in the presidential campaign. A small brown stain is rocketing up in the polls, exciting interest am...
Read full storyMarilyn Manson Endorses Bush in Last Ditch Effort to Shock People
In a move admittedly more about shocking his fans and detractors than about his ideological leanings, Marilyn Manson announced today that he would be throwing his endorsement to George W. Bush for the 2004 elections. A publicist for Manson...
Read full storyConcorde Converted Into Supersonic Sub
PARIS, FRANCE-The French government is reporting today that the earlier retired Concorde jet airliner has been secretly transformed into a military submarine capable of cruising faster than the speed of sound under water.
Read full storyHutton Report: "Campbelled!" Claims Gilligan
Andrew Gilligan, tricking security by sporting a wig and Saddam-style moustache, sensationally stormed Westminster today, grabbed the Speaker's mace and, whilst swinging it around wildly, made the startling claim that Lord Hutton's Inquiry had been "...
Read full storyShaved Pussy prank goes too far
A drunken prank went too far when cat owner Agnes Welch, sick of her boyfriends pestering decided to shave her pussy, right their and then in front of all his friends.
Read full storyOprah Signed to Catch for the CUBS; Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld at Third
Celebrity baseball -- they said it would never happen in the NL Central -- but the Chicago CUBS challenged history again Tuesday when they hired one of America's biggest TV talk-show superstars -- Oprah Winfrey -- to a two-year, $525-million con...
Read full storyHutton Deja Vu
Dr Kevin Delly, the man named as the source for the Sun newspaper's article supposedly detailing the findings of the Hutton Inquiry into the death of Dr David Kelly, has been found dead just seven minutes after being exposed. The report by Lord Hu...
Read full storyHutton in Sordid sex scandal
As is usually the case with these stories, the lover is a young nubile blonde, who works part time as a lap dancer to finance her university education. She claims to have met Lord Hutton at a private party at the club she works in.
Read full storyHutton Leaks condemned
Some Leaked details of the Hutton Enquiry have been condemned by everyone except New Labour. Reports appearing yesterday on TheSpoof.com, and in today's Sun newspaper painted contrasting pictures of the reports findings.
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