Rumsfeld: "Killing is human nature, you liberal surrender monkeys"

Funny story written by Lampros

Wednesday, 11 February 2004

image for Rumsfeld: "Killing is human nature, you liberal surrender monkeys"
Ordinary human beings during a promenade in an ordianary city after an ordinary carpet bombing

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld put a political foot in the wrong leatherette marching boots today when questioned about Tuesday's car bombing in Iraq, that killed about 50 people. In his infinite wisdom, Rumsfeld suggested that there are murders in every major city in the world "because human beings are human beings, you liberal surrender monkeys".

Rumsfeld further emphasised his opinions: "Don't give me the 'instability in Iraq' lecture on Tuesday's bombing.

"Iraq is stable and solid as a rock. Bombs blowing all over the place is an everyday routine in big cities - look at Mogadishu, Kabul, Nagorno Karabah, Srebrenica, Kirkuk, Jerusalem."

Rumsfeld continued unabated: "It has nothing to do with instability or the presence of foreign troops. It is just a normal day to day thing in most of the world's metropolis."

During the same Pentagon briefing, Rumsfeld also said that he did not remember the widely publicized claims made by Britain before the Iraq war, that President Saddam Hussein's forces could launch weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes.

"Weapons of Mass….what?", Rummy wondered. "I'm afraid I don't remember a thing, I'll get back to you if I remember anything about it, but don't hold your breath. Don't call me - I'll call you", said Rumsfeld to a group of stunned reporters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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