Blonde Bombshell In Breaststroke Bugger-Up!
Pretty regional swimming champion Claudia Bartlett was so close to reaching her ambitious target of swimming 20 kilometres, but had to stop just fifty agonising metres from the end of the marathon record attempt. The tearful twenty-two year-...
Read full storyActor's Jowls Explode
Geoffrey Palmer's jowls have exploded. The blast which was heard by neighbours happened at around 6am this morning. Mr Palmer, best known for his lugubrious roles in sitcoms is said to be "looking less lugubrious". The jowls have been steadil...
Read full storyFriends Cast Member Sighted At Walt's Tavern
RIBERA, NM - Ribera radio station 94.3 KGUN runs a daily segment called "celebrity sighting". This is where anyone within listening range of the station calls in to report having seen a celebrity the night before. DJ Rob "spinnin" Jones said ab...
Read full story1337 haX0rs GeT SpElLiNg hElP fR0M M$ w0rD
Az a fO|l0w up tO a Story fr0m Th3 |ast 3ditiOn micr0$0ft HaV3 mad3 An unuSual aDdit1On t0 m1cro$0ft woRd inC|uDinG aN OpT1on tO s3arch thrOugh hacK3r languag3 Ch3Cking f0r spellInG m1sTak3z.at laSt U'l| b3 ab|3 t0 und3rst& wH0 HaZ haCK3d wHAT &a...
Read full storyCome and have a go if you think you're hard enough
In retailiation to recent threats given by the American and British governments, SADDAM HUSSEIN president of Iraq, has given, what can only be described as a "two-fingered-salute" to the western world. In a video statement that was supplied to The...
Read full storyRejected by Letterman, ABC Set To Hire Bin Laden
The American Broadcasting Network (ABC), having been turned down by David Letterman and already having strained relations with Ted Koppel of Nightline and Bill Maher of Politically Incorrect, is branching outside of the normal entertainment circles t...
Read full storyMichelangelo - The Missing Years
A recently-published book reveals that Renaissance painter, Michelangelo actually disappeared for three years. Albert Crust, author of 'Michelangelo Actually Disappeared For Three Years', explains: "It was during the painting of the Sistine Chapel...
Read full storyHollywood Grows Child Stars
Hollywood studios recently admitted that their child stars are specially bred for filming. This child star breeding, Hollywood executives revealed, began long ago - when there just weren't enough child actors to go around. In those days, everyone...
Read full storyNations Prepare for World War
Thirty-six nations are currently arming themselves and preparing for battle as a result of the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, Utah. The Olympics, which are technically supposed to promote world harmony, caused nothing but scandal and...
Read full storySmart Arse Northerner cracks Cockney Rhyming
Alan Arkwright, a cheeky Northern smart arse, threw the East End of London into disarray, when he claimed to have cracked Cockney rhyming slang! "Cor blimey guv!" was the shocked response of Arthur Fowler, a very old Cockney person. "Even blee...
Read full storyHalf Life 2 Shock
Sierra Entertainment have recently announced that Half Life 2 is nothing but an Unreal Tournament 2 beta that has been stolen, changed around a bit and re-packaged.Some people find this surprising whereas some hardcore gamers have suspected as much a...
Read full story17 Year-Old Wants It To Be Clear That He Isn't Gay
Casey Douglas, a 17 year-old Junior at Mona Shores High Schools wants it to be perfectly clear that he is indeed not a homosexual. Douglas makes this claim after years of speculation. The speculation is due to Douglas involvement in with the dance...
Read full storyMore Concern Rises After Another Hospital Cock-up
The NHS is being put under increasing pressure after one of their hospitals in Nottingham made yet another cock-up. Instead of connecting nearly twenty-five of their patients' to a machine designed to simulate the heart, they got a big sledgehamme...
Read full storyEngland Threaten To Boycott World Cup
TheSpoof can reveal that the entire England football squad - led by 'Captain Goldenballs' himself, David Beckham - are on the verge of pulling out of this summer's World Cup finals in Japan and South Korea. "They're going to spoil it for th...
Read full storyAngel of Death Retires
After one thousand years and millions of cases handled, the time has come for the man in black to step down. Reporter Will Da Thrill caught up with Death at the airport for a quick interview. WDT - So Mr. Death how does it feel to retire? AOD-...
Read full storyCold Woman Faces Death Penalty
Florida woman Irma Kowalski faces the death penalty if convicted on bio-terrorism charges after knowingly spreading the feared cold virus. Florida State Police Department were flooded with calls after Mrs Kowalski was seen sneezing, coughing, and...
Read full storyThe Fisherman
It all started to happen about 89 years ago when I was forced to become something the world has once and will never see anything like what I've become.. what I've become. For the past couple of years, the changes have appeared to be wired. I'll sta...
Read full storyWoman Goes to Work With Wet Hair
POTEAU, AK -- Thursday morning, in an act that defied all logic, Tamera Patterson arrived at her Stallion Food Mart job, with wet hair. Fellow workers were confused and awestruck by the events of that day. James Frier, a stock boy at Stallion Food...
Read full storyHandbags Get Turbocharged
In a somewhat surprising move, boots the chemist have today introduced miniature jet engines into their small range of ladies' handbags. The engines are said to vary from a V6 to a V12, and also differ in their gearing - some are a mere single speed,...
Read full storyRap Star Deletes Interludes
American rap star Jermaine Dupri's new album should still be released this Summer despite the accidental wiping of his answerphone messages. The deleted messages were intended to form 11 interludes between the four new tracks. A spokesman for his...
Read full storyGermany : Introduce Single European Nation Now
Buoyed by the recent successful introduction of the single European currency, German chancellor Gerhard Schroeder has put forward controversial plans that he claims will unify Europe to levels never before seen. "What we need is a strong nation to...
Read full storyJerry Springer kills the Roswell Aliens
We shall never know all the sinister details of the 'Roswell Aliens Cover-up'. One irrefutable fact, however, is that the surviving aliens went to live in England until March 2002 when they were 'killed' by none other than the celebrated Jerry Spri...
Read full storyZimbabwe Election: Mugabe Turns on Blacks
President Mugabe, the Zimbabwean electoral spoilsport, has declared vengeance upon the black population of his country. He also banned the movement of limbs during election week, reducing the chance of it being a free and fair vote. In a speech m...
Read full storyStuffed Bunny, Mr Floppels, Disappears.
KETCHUM, WY -- Tragedy struck the Shiny Smiles Community Play Center last Wednesday when Samantha Togglson's beloved stuffed bunny Mr. Floppels mysteriously disappeared. At 2 o'clock as Sam and her mother Helen Togglson were leaving the center, w...
Read full storyUpdate: Small Girl's Stuffed Rabbit Missing!
KETCHUM, WY -- At 7:30 pm last Wednesday Jim Togglson, husband of Helen Togglson, sat down to have a "brewski", and watch the local news. Jim got comfortable in his La-Z-Boy Nelson, and stuck his hand down the side in search of the television remote...
Read full storyTeen Meets Carson Daly, Realizes He's a Dick
After waiting in the cold New York Winter for nearly three hours 16 year-old Kristin Myers finally was invited up to the prestigous TRL Studio. "It was really cold that day and my friend Jenny and I were super-excited when they told us we could g...
Read full storyNation Of Extremism Seeks Virgins
The Nation of Extremism launched an appeal for virgins today after it was revealed that numbers of available virgins had reached dangerously low levels. "Under Islamic law," explained Mohammad Mahakmahadahha, head of Islamic Virgin Studies at Basi...
Read full storyCelebrities to be Privatised?
Celebrities are to be made more efficient, and finally receive the investment they deserve when plans to fund them with private finance are unveiled by the Briton Party this week. A number of different concepts are being toyed with. They are as f...
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