Written by Miguel Guasch

Monday, 4 March 2002

image for Woman Goes to Work With Wet Hair

POTEAU, AK -- Thursday morning, in an act that defied all logic, Tamera Patterson arrived at her Stallion Food Mart job, with wet hair. Fellow workers were confused and awestruck by the events of that day.

James Frier, a stock boy at Stallion Food Mart usually greets Tamera every morning en route to the back room. Today he walked fifteen feet out of his way converse with Lou the janitor about the previous nights game, which he hadn't seen, in an attempt to avoid Tamera. When James arrived in the stockroom he commented to fellow shelf-stocker Alan Wersmier "Holy shit man, did you see Tamera's hair? I mean what the fuck, can't she afford a towel?!"

When asked about the incident Wersmier replied "I've got some work to do, please leave me alone." He was obviously much to upset about the matter to even comment on it.

I asked about his relationship with Patterson, and what he thought would become of it now that Patterson had shown up to work with wet hair. His response was nothing short of astonishing, "We are kind of friends i guess, I sort of had a crush on her for a while, but not anymore. I don't think things will ever be the same, she come to work with wet hair? I mean, who does that?"

Susan Johnston, a regular patron of the Stallion Food Mart, goes every Thursday morning to buy her weeks groceries. She always goes down Patterson's lane. Mrs. Johnston had this to say, "I just love to chat with her for a few minutes while I'm checking out. She's usually very polite, and cheerful. I guess she was the same today, but her hair was wet."

Other customers also made the comment that Patterson had wet hair today. At around noon, a small child ran screaming from the store. It may have had something to do with Patterson's wet hair.

Patterson's supervisor Gordon Phlemming said "I think this day will forever be remembered in SFM history as (air quotes) *the day that one girl came to work with we hair*".

Why did she come to work on this particular day with wet hair? Was it a fashion statement, or perhaps some form of protest? I finally caught up with Patterson on her way home for the day and asked her. Her reply: "I just got up late and didn't have time to dry it. I don't get what everyone was fussing about. It was dry in like forty-five minutes."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Hair, work

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