Written by Rodd Justice

Monday, 4 March 2002

image for Zimbabwe Election: Mugabe Turns on Blacks
Yar, Black Pigs with yer Bling Bling!

President Mugabe, the Zimbabwean electoral spoilsport, has declared vengeance upon the black population of his country. He also banned the movement of limbs during election week, reducing the chance of it being a free and fair vote.

In a speech made yesterday, Muggles said, "if you weren't all black, then there would be no way that the British could create a colonial-style racial divide. Now get off my land, before you give me AIDS, you black pigs!"

Opposition spokesman Funkster Duluxe said, "first, he hypocritically blames the British for his dictatorial rulings, now he's barmied up the block totally with his self-race-hate."

Mugabe's speech also contained a recital of New Kids on the Block's "Hang Tough" hit single. Except, this was a cleverly manipulated version, which had lyrics that alluded to inhumanity to household pets, including the extremely popular ostrich-dog cross-breed, which has been a real hit in the troubled nation.

Although, it appears that in Zimbabwe people are disinterested with politics - voter apathy is a real problem.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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