US Facing Real Energy Crisis
Everyone always said that it was only a matter of time before the United States ran out of electricity. And that time is now upon us - or at least it will be soon. Washington was notified of the emergency just days ago and has been rushing around,...
Read full storyDigital TV Can Watch You!
BBC boss Greg Dyke today announced his plans for the new interactive channels to be offered on Digital TV. Among them include a channel which has the ability to watch you, and add a whole new dimension to existing programmes.
Read full story"Anthrax" Proved to be Harmless Cocaine
A large package containing white powder which was found in an un-named London office building was yesterday found to be simple cocaine, and not the deadly anthrax that workers feared.
Read full storyLight overtaken by cheeky soundwave
Scientists at Hope University in Boston, Mass. released details today of a recent incident in one of their refraction labs.
Read full storyLassies leaves 'mess' on home rug
Lassie has been scolded this month after leaving a nasty 'mess' on the home rug.
Read full storySuspicious White Powder - The Terrorist's Favorite
The total casualty count from US terrorism is increasing as suspicious white powders continue to surface across the nation.
Read full storyMother's Cry : "Get Off The Damn Internet!"
Fretting mother Denise Runyan can't seem to get her son away from his computer. Mrs. Runyan, who is a stay at home mother of three, has been trying to find alternate activities for her son because of what she calls "a serious problem."...
Read full storySmarties sizing shocker
In what is continuing to become one of the most shocking and disturbing occurrences of the new millennium so far, refuse disposal technician and sci-fi writer Dan Collins (28) discovered that not all smarties, are the same size, in fact yellow smarti...
Read full storySaying goodbye to Mr. Rodgers
We say goodbye to an American Icon as Mr. Rodgers of Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood has retired this year after celebrating 45 years in children's television.
Read full storyBin Laden caught by Jehovah's witnesses
17 year old genius Stan Freeman has instrumented the capture of Osama Bin Laden and collected the $25,000,000 Bounty.
Read full storyWho is Harry Potter's Father?
The Magic Circle, that respected organisation that looks after all practitioners of the 'black arts', lost its cool over claims that Harry Potter was a 'lurve child'.
Read full storyNew Bob the Builder Record Causes Concern
The hilarious children's cartoon character Bob the Builder has caused concern amongst parents by announcing his new single will be a cover of NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta".
Read full storyBite-Size Gamuts Available Soon
People who find it hard to run the whole gamut will certainly welcome the introduction of so-called bite-sized gamuts this year.
Read full storyLighthouse Family Negative Shock
A member of the upbeat pop group the Lighthouse Family is still in intensive care today after thinking a negative thought.
Read full storyCamel owner gets the hump
Mr Abel Snodrington (Jr) of Tunbridge Wells today discovered that one of his pet camels humps had appeared on his own back. He discovered it as he was putting down a fresh saucer of milk for his wife.
Read full storyStar Wars Collector Relishes String of eBay Wins
(Virginia Beach, Virginia) Star Wars memorabilia collector Ted Peterson collects action figures and posters from the popular movie series and considers himself a veteran of the on-line auction website ebay.
Read full storyPlaying Clarinet with a bitch
I was 8 years old when I began to play the clarinet. I was forced to by my mother, another one of her passing phases for her to accomplish her dreams through me.
Read full storyInternet Desiderata
Go placidly amid the glitches and errors and remember what peace there may be in DSL. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all message boards. Type your truth spelled properly and with grammatical correctness; and read others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Read full storyMobile Phones Blamed for Brain Damage
In a recent survey conducted by the UK mobile phone authority it has been revealed that mobile phones can, when thrown hard enough, inflict serious brain damage.
Read full storyGovernment Warns of Possible Squirrel Uprising
Washington officials have confirmed reports that America's squirrels are most likely beginning to organize - and may be planning some kind of a coup.
Read full storyEnd of the World
The End of The World conjures up several images, the first would be The Dave Matthews band and that song from the "Everyday" album "When the World Ends".
Read full storyChess master destroys opponents soul
In a remarkable series of events, Chess Master, Peter Andrenov, has destroyed his opponents soul during a clash in Prague.
Read full storyJules Asner Suspended
Los Angeles, CA - Jules Asner, E! Entertainment television hottie and superstar mathlete, has been suspended by the National Mathletic Association (NMA).
Read full storyBob Dylan could be Executed
It has become apparent that Bob Dylan, the old singer, could be executed.
Read full storyBarney gets Lipo
Barney the Purple Dinosaur had liposuction last month in an attempt to change the shows format.
Read full storyPublic Call for anti-Europhile Legislation
There have been growing protests across Britain for an end to Europhilia, and for the introduction of "Norman's Law", named after Norman Lamont, the former Chancellor whose political career was killed by Europhilia.
Read full storyGolden Girls Reunion Halted by Incontinence
(Hollywood, CA) A long anticipated reunion movie of the popular television series The Golden Girls was halted when all four stars of the show found it difficult to get through shooting without soiling themselves.
Read full storyElephant banned from zoo for fouling
'The Ref Was blind!' was the first thing he said as we met. The alley was dark, and the only hint I had that my interviewee had arrived was the smell of cheap aftershave.
Read full storyLoads dead in London
A man has run into the middle of London, a typically big city, and killed everyone with a chain saw. Blood and eyes are still being cleaned off things such as dogs and monuments. Victims were heard to shout "oh God oh sweet Jesus have mercy oh...
Read full storyLetter Bombshell
"Letter Bombshell - I've had some mail and it wasn't junk!" claims Sheffield woman.
Read full storyBill Gates Does a bit of extra Work here in the UK
Bill Gates has decided to do a bit of HTML programming here in the UK today!...
Read full storyFirst Omelette Takeaway Confirmed
A Bournemouth man is celebrating this morning after been confirmed as the first man ever to have ordered an omelette from an Indian restaurant.
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