Mother's Cry : "Get Off The Damn Internet!"

Funny story written by Nathan Cooper

Monday, 14 January 2002

image for Mother's Cry : "Get Off The Damn Internet!"
Too much 'net

Fretting mother Denise Runyan can't seem to get her son away from his computer. Mrs. Runyan, who is a stay at home mother of three, has been trying to find alternate activities for her son because of what she calls "a serious problem."

"Ben gets home from school and goes straight to his room to get on that darn computer. He stays on it all night, and when I yell for him to come to dinner he just ignores me. I'm really worried about his health." Said Mrs. Runyan. "I don't even mess with that stuff."

Replied Mrs. Runyan, when asked if she uses the internet herself. "I've never been on the internet, I don't know the first thing about it. Sometimes I worry Ben is up there looking at websites that encourage swearing and vandalism. I've even heard that old men pick up children on those chat rooms. I just don't want to know what goes on in his room."

According to Denise, Ben has been hooked on the internet ever since he found a free AOL cd outside of the local Kmart. At the time she didn't see any harm and allowed Ben to bring it home and install it on his new computer.

"I never realized at the time that the connection was through the phone line. Now I can't call anybody. I haven't heard from my mother in two months. I tell him I need to use the phone, but he doesn't seem to care." Said Denise.

Future attempts at obtaining an internet connection through a cable line are planned in order to restore normalcy to the Runyan's phone situation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Related Funny Stories…

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more