Internet Desiderata

Funny story written by

Monday, 14 January 2002

image for Internet Desiderata
Hmmm...beautiful internet

Go placidly amid the glitches and errors and remember what peace there may be in DSL. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all message boards. Type your truth spelled properly and with grammatical correctness; and read others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid people who spam and use stupid icons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare your site to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser web sites than your own. Enjoy your site awards as well as your subscribers.

Keep interested in your link pop, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing rankings of search engines.

Exercise caution in your affiliates; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; the information highway strives for high ideals; and everywhere the web is full of shareware.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign HTML knowledge. Neither be cynical about code; for in the face of all obfuscation, it is as necessary as your password.

Take kindly the counsel of the geeks, gracefully surrendering to XML and PHP. Nurture patience with technology to sheild you in sudden upgrades. But do not distress yourself with downtime worries. Many fears are born of infected attachments and poor connections.

You are a child of the Internet, no less than the hackers and the housewives; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Internet is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with Bill Gates, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your mission and agenda, in the noisy confusion of cyberspace, keep peace with your ISP.

With all its viruses, slow downloads and broken links, it is still a beautiful Internet. Be careful. Strive to stay connected.


Copyright emily moorehead, 2000. Please do not copy in any manner, print or electronic, without permission from the author. However, the link to this page may be freely shared.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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