Planet of the Apes Movie Further Confuses Teenager

Funny story: Planet of the Apes Movie Further Confuses Teenager

The new Mark Wahlberg movie Planet of the Apes has come under fire for adding to a teenage boys sexual confusion.

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Loving Feeling Lost In Kent

Funny story: Loving Feeling Lost In Kent

A woman is distraught after discovering that her husband doesn't close his eyes any more when she kisses his lips.

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Steven Gately Considers Return To Closet

Funny story: Steven Gately Considers Return To Closet

In a dramatic change of heart, Boyzone member Stephen Gately is poised to announce that he is straight.

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Hamiltons Face Fresh Sexual Deviance Charge

United Nations President Kofi Annan issued a plea for calm today amid claims that disgraced former Tory MP Neil Hamilton and his wife Christine sexually assaulted the island of Tonganoma during an official government visit in 1993.

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Boy Stalked By Old Actor

Funny story: Boy Stalked By Old Actor

Police are to launch an investigation after a boy of 12 told them an elderly actor had been stalking him at a rugby match. The incident took place at Esher rugby ground in Surrey last month.

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Foot And Mouth Crisis Thickens

Funny story: Foot And Mouth Crisis Thickens

Cumbria farmer Arthur Sidebottom today shocked the agricultural community by suggesting radical reforms as the county's farmers prepare to restock their farms following the foot-and-mouth crisis.

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NHS - Government Resolute On Overseas Treatment

Funny story: NHS - Government Resolute On Overseas Treatment

Prime Minister Tony Blair today defended his government's apparent U-turn on allowing NHS patients to be treated abroad. "We are a pan European community," said Mr Blair. "Why shouldn't patients be treated in Germany or Franc...

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Coffee Remains Unmade As Intern Numbers Fall

Funny story: Coffee Remains Unmade As Intern Numbers Fall

The National intern shortage worsened last night as new appointments fell for the third time in as many months.

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Teenager admits daft stunt not influenced by TV

Funny story: Teenager admits daft stunt not influenced by TV

A teenager yesterday admitted that a ludicrously stupid stunt he had pulled was completely his own idea and not at all influenced by TV or films.

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Star Trek - Guilty

Star Trek fans reacted with horror today as the US Federal Court returned a guilty verdict against the show's producers over cruelty to crewmembers in red sweaters.

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Bidding Ends On Kidman-Cruise Divorce Jokes

Funny story: Bidding Ends On Kidman-Cruise Divorce Jokes

CBS' The Late Show with David Letterman has emerged the victor in the most heated jokes auction in entertainment history.

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Teenage Girl 76% Compatible With Josh Hartnett

Funny story: Teenage Girl 76% Compatible With Josh Hartnett

A simple numerical test has proven that 14 year old Kayleigh Roberts of Atlanta, Georgia is 76% compatible with the actor Josh Hartnett.

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George Lucas Unmasked As Renegade Space Historian

Funny story: George Lucas Unmasked As Renegade Space Historian

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the biggest interstellar grave robbery, since the rape of the fifth moon of Pluto, was executed by a fiendish and conniving weasel named George Lucas.

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Schwazeneggar terminates cigar contract

Funny story: Schwazeneggar terminates cigar contract

Phillip Morris is sueing Arnold Schwazeneggar for breach of contract. It seems the giant tobacco company contracted Arnold as it's spokesperson for it's new line of cigar, The Terminator.

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Old Firm to join Rollerball League

Funny story: Old Firm to join Rollerball League

As confusion hangs over their entry into the English Premiership, Celtic and Rangers have turned elsewhere in their desperate attempt to finish 7th and 8th in the league by moving to America to join one of the successful Rollerball leagues.

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Art Gallery stunned by installation forgery

Funny story: Art Gallery stunned by installation forgery

An installation by renowned artist Herman Footzgerbil at the Tate Gallery was today exposed as a forgery. 'Bedsheet Rockery' a pile of rocks covered by a bedsheet, was discovered not to be by Footzgerbil but by a master-forger named Ron McTas...

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Bus Ticket sweeps the board in degree show

Funny story: Bus Ticket sweeps the board in degree show

At an Art Student Degree show yesterday "Bus Ticket" by Jimmy Trucker won all honours available. Esteemed critic, Hersh Klownofski said, "Look at the beautiful use of colours, purple on white. Visionary. This piece really speaks to me.

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British Dance Unhealthy

Funny story: British Dance Unhealthy

A survey published this week has found the state of British dance music to be very unhealthy.

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Clinton and Mandela Sex Allegations

Funny story: Clinton and Mandela Sex Allegations

Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton, two diametrically opposite characters, were exposed by a White House 'insider', who allegedly claims that they had 'sex' in the Oval Office.

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Coleman & Lewis hit the big screen

Funny story: Coleman & Lewis hit the big screen

Who would have thought that these two arch rivals would agree to do a movie together? Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis team up in this years comedy adventure Lil Dicks.

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Tony Blair tests drugs

Funny story: Tony Blair tests drugs

The House of Commons, that most respectable assembly that governs the once glorious country of Great Britain, gave its unqualified support for compulsory drugs testing, yesterday.

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Of Men And Scientists

Funny story: Of Men And Scientists

A team of British scientists will announce a major breakthrough in the study of animal communications in a report to be published later today.

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Jolly Green Giant 'On Steroids'

Funny story: Jolly Green Giant 'On Steroids'

The jolly green giant has tested positive in a random drugs test last night. Police say they have detected large amounts of the growth-inducing steroid Amoxoflacin in his blood.

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Computer illiterates fight back!

Funny story: Computer illiterates fight back!

Geriatric computer users are forming a world-wide revolution against pimply-faced know-it-all's in local ISP tech support companies.

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MTV Generation Gone; Youth Embrace Heffer

Funny story: MTV Generation Gone; Youth Embrace Heffer

Kids all over Britain are rejecting the MTV culture that has been so prominent among the yoof since the 1980s. These kids, known by many as the 'Lost Tongue-Studs', were saved from desperation only by forming a cult around the hard-nosed pol...

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Global Warming Was A Hoax

Funny story: Global Warming Was A Hoax

Scientists have messed up again! Their normally normal complexions have turned reddish due to embarrassment. The Armageddonistic theory of Global Warming was a scamfake cunningly constructed by a man who works in a field! The evildoers behind this sc...

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Border Burning Causes Chaos

Funny story: Border Burning Causes Chaos

The world is in the midst of a terrorist crisis. The implications of this are now apparently going to be much more serious after it was discovered that many groups are planning "border burning", which can cause all kinds of logistical chao...

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Baggies face Flack

Baggies boss Gary Megson is reportedly preparing £250000 bid for Exeter striker Steve Flack.

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Critic Sez The Media is 'Pap and Useless'

Funny story: Critic Sez The Media is 'Pap and Useless'

Shocking news for all us news fans. Some buffed-up critic called Funky Spyglass has described our television as "pap" and the Internet as "useless".

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Nostradamus Foresaw Uri Gellar and Kurt Russell

Funny story: Nostradamus Foresaw Uri Gellar and Kurt Russell

According to prophecies by Nostradamus, uncovered for the first time since the 16th century, Uri Gellar is set to rise to prominence in the world of astrophysics, and become one of the most under-estimated minds in history.

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Young Couple Wiped Out After Restuarant Blaze!

Funny story: Young Couple Wiped Out After Restuarant Blaze!

A young couple paid the ultimate price for trying to sneak out of a restaurant last weekend without paying their bill.

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'Mullet not real' Shocker!

Funny story: 'Mullet not real' Shocker!

It has emerged from Eastern Europe that the mullet was actually a figment of the Western imagination.

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Tony the Tiger Mauls Pop of Snap Crackle Fame

Pop, the cheeky little fella from the Rice Krispies adverts, has been mauled to death by Tony the Tiger following years of enforced vegetarianism.

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Beckham in shock alien transfer

Funny story: Beckham in shock alien transfer

Bert Wilson claimed that he was the victim of a cruel prank, carried out by alien beings.

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Countdown To New Show

Funny story: Countdown To New Show

Channel 4 is working on a new hip-hop version of the popular numbers and letters game Countdown which will be called Word.

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