Previously believed to be popular entertainers Ant and Dec were today horrified to learn that not only are they actually unpopular, but they are despised by the average TV viewer.
Figures out today suggest that heroin and crack cocaine users are 75% more likely to achieve success in the creative arts and music industry than non-drugs users.
Prince Harry is to get a medal for his secret tour of duty in Afghanistan as a Forward Hair Controller. The Prince was secretly flown in despite his red barnett being a draw to Afghan soldiers everywhere.
Portuguese authorities have today arrested three children for failing to take care of their drunken parents. The officials were horrified to discover the father passed out on a sofa in reception, while the mother was found lying in her own vomit besi...
A new anti-clot drug could spare thousands of young females all over the world from embarrassing and potentially terrifying experiences.
Former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott today claimed that he never said he was suffering from Bullimia Nervosa and that the Press have completely misunderstood what he actually said.
A new comedy film due to be released about deaths in Britain's Tube stations has been deemed offensive by the National Transport Union.
Plus Size model, Jen Hunter, 25, has spoken out in an effort to deter impressionable young women from dieting to themselves to death. Jen, who at 7 stone 2 pounds (98 pounds) is classed as Plus Size in the modelling industry says that there is fa...
Karen Matthews, mother of missing Shannon Matthews, has agreed to be sterilised whilst on remand in Yorkshire. It is believed that Miss Matthews has given birth to at least 14 children in her lifetime, five of which are currently in the care of socia...
A judge has today deemed that the Matthews family, arrested on various charges relating to the disappearance of Shannon Matthews, are "too stupid" to stand trial.
A chest infection was today said to be relieved to have shaken off ancient unpopular octogenarian Prince Philip. The chest infection was gripped by Prince Philip three days ago and has only been able to loosen his liver-spotted grasp after an intense...
There was chaos today in London as various sporting celebrities tried to carry the Olympic flame through Central London and past papparazzi-friendly landmarks.
Police have discovered that the town known as "Hucking" which lies on Cuckold Hill between Ansty and Hickstead is totally fictitious. The mocked up town which covers an area of 400 metres square is actually just a few feet of earth and card...
Controversial director Oliver Stone has announced today that he is making a film about US President George W Bush. The film will depict how a man with an IQ equivalent to a small mollusc managed to get his finger on the big red button.
Growing popular website Ebay have today announced the opening of a brand new category entitled "Heathrow Baggage".
A group of sealhunters have today drowned at sea after being hounded and hunted down by a group of vicious militant seals.
Following weeks of speculation feisty songstress Charlotte "Voice of an Angel" Church has finally announced her split from international rugby player Gavin Henson.
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