Matthews Family Deemed "Too Stupid" To Stand Trial

Funny story written by carina-eta

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

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Member of the Matthews Family Going Into Hiding Today

A judge has today deemed that the Matthews family, arrested on various charges relating to the disappearance of Shannon Matthews, are "too stupid" to stand trial.

Craig Meehan, who is medically unfit to stand trial due to being approximately 1 chromosome away from being Downs Syndrome, is accused of downloading child porn. Craig, who works as a fishmonger, claims his job means his hands always smell of fish and is Shannon's stepfather.

Karen Matthews, mother of an estimated five children, is alleged to have hatched the plot to have one of her kids kidnapped, then discussed the plan in front of Police Liason officers, thus proving, in the eyes of the judge that she is mentally incompetent. This coupled with the fact that she has a child with a mentally retarded paedophile.

Other family members arrested include an uncle who hid Shannon for 24 days because he couldn't remember where to return her and a sister who encouraged Karen Matthews in her delusions of competence.

Shannon Matthews is said to be delighted to be in the care of social services, who despite being responsible for such incidences as The Haut de Garenne home, is a big step up for the estimated five Matthews children.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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