Written by carina-eta

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for Heroin Users 75% More Likely To Be Successful
Amy denies she's a flake

Figures out today suggest that heroin and crack cocaine users are 75% more likely to achieve success in the creative arts and music industry than non-drugs users.

According to a recent poll, more than 88% of artists hitting the big time in the music industry are regular smackheads, with heroine and crack heading the "must-do" list of A-listers at the MTV music awards. The remaining 12% can be accounted for by Cliff Richards string of number one records.

Meanwhile, in the art world, cannabis features heavily in the top-rated European and U.S.A artworld with most artists expressing gratitude that cannabis will shortly be reclassified as a Class B drug. An anonymous artist who is not Banksy, but simply wishes to remain anonymous for this interview, stated, "Thank God, at last I will be taken seriously as an artist."

The Royal College of Music is said to be looking into ways to increase drug use in the hope of propelling a few instrumentalists into the same highly paid limelight as fellow mentalists such as Amy Winehouse and Keith Richards.

Amy Winehouse is 24 and her latest tattoo reads "Flake loves Blake."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Drugs, heroin

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
47 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more