Prince Harry is to get a medal for his secret tour of duty in Afghanistan as a Forward Hair Controller. The Prince was secretly flown in despite his red barnett being a draw to Afghan soldiers everywhere.
The Prince's duties, conducted from a heavily guarded concrete bunker, were to control and style the hair of his fellow serving officers and to rebrand his playboy image.
A fellow Household Cavalry member, also in line for a medal, stated that Harry services as a Forward Hair Controller were invaluable. "We couldn't have aimed a gun at anyone with hair all over our faces, Harry's styling skills were a godsend", he said.
Harry famously visited a fellow soldier who lost an arm and a leg in the confrontation and gave him a big quiff while he was unconscious. Although the media attention Harry's visit drew was described as "annoying" by the Prince, it is believed to have helped enormously to rebrand his image.
Princess Anne will place the medal on her nephew's chest, insiders claim she has ordered an extra long pin.
