A group of sealhunters have today drowned at sea after being hounded and hunted down by a group of vicious militant seals.
A news report has shown footage of the hunters firing seals from cannons onto targets carved into the ice and using hockey sticks to bash seal "pucks" into mincing machine goals.
Shocked animal rights campaigners said today that the footage shows a blatant disregard for new rules and guidelines on the humane killing of seals. Seal hunters claim that killing seals humanely is boring and violates their human rights. An unnamed sealhunter today stated that "the only fun he has all year is thinking up interesting ways to cull seal-vermin."
Last year it was reported that sealhunters were forcing groups of captive seals to play "Russian Roulette" and were inflating seal pups with Helium and allowing them to float off to sea in groups. Sealhunters claim that all seals are killed humanely and that no prize of $5,000 dollars is offered to the "most innovative cull", won last year by "Mad" Max Adams.
Shockingly, today the situation was reversed when a group of seals destined for an elaborate death involving a giant magnet and a sonic gun, turned against their captors. The seals, egged on by Greenpeace vessels anchored off shore, drove the hunters out to sea, then boarded the vessel and threw their keys overboard. All but one of the hunters instinctively dived into the below freezing water after the keys.
A Greenpeace activist said later," The seals were high-fiving each other and honking really loudly and I believe there was a prize of 5,000 mackerel claimed, but that's unconfirmed."
