Controversial director Oliver Stone has announced today that he is making a film about US President George W Bush. The film will depict how a man with an IQ equivalent to a small mollusc managed to get his finger on the big red button.
Bush has a famously absent brain but does have the courage of his convictions and God on his side. Armed with these qualities he single-handedly launched an attack on the wrong country following a terror attack on his own because a direct attack on those actually responsible would've been too hard.
The film, which has the working title "clueless" will focus on the way Bush snatched victory from the hands of Al Gore by cheating, relied on his dad for advice in the early years because he actually knew what he was doing, was unable to speak without a well-crafted speech written by someone else, regained power after a second debatable election probably involving his tried and trusted method of cheating and his well-publicised affair with former U.K Prime Minister Tony Blair, who he lovingly nick-named "poodle-chops."
Stone says he is intent on portraying Bush in a fair and true manner, terms Bush himself was unfamiliar with and had to have explained to him by a aide. Matt Damon is hoping to play Bush, being a master of wooden expression in Hollywood, but Stone has rumoured that CGI will be used instead to create a sort of cross between Yoda and Gollum.
"I'm aiming for realism here", said Stone.