As the T-bagger protestors swarmed the nations Capitol on Sunday, spitting on African-American legislators and calling Congressman Barney Frank a faggot, Republican legislators cheered them on from the balconies of the building. One of America's...
The BBC today announced the names of the stars and celebrities who will be taking part in this years 'Hand Relief' - an annual wank-fest to raise money for good causes. Regular hand relievers like Chris Evans, Bruce Forsyth, Dale Winton and Adr...
US President Barack Obama has been warned by Doctors to kick the smoking habit or he may well face an early grave. During a recent check up Obama told his physician he was having trouble with coughs and that he was finding himself severely out of...
Gaming corporation Wankbrothers have come under severe fire after one of their popular Wii games requires frantic 'masturbatory movements' in order to get a high score. The controversy was uncovered by concerned parent Michael Bates who described...
In his Friday morning Speech to the Nation, President Barack Obama continued to talk about all the sex and violence where teenagers are concerned, continuing the subject of Thursday's PM Speech to the Nation. "With sex and violence all over the in...
Internationally renowned software designer and animated pornography director, Nick Knack, announces a new 3D interactive game for use on all home gaming consoles, based on the fictitious character Paddy McFarlane. As the name of the game, and Kna...
Official papers just released have finally cleared up one of history's greatest mysteries. Why was Gandhi so passive? The answer: he was knackered because he used to jerk off over a hundred times a night. He was so tired he even wandered round in she...
The University of San Taskamonia recently have patented a new device for automated wanking. This new robot was designed by one student, a Dr. Ivana Tinkle. "I, among many other students of the university, have much trouble wanking at night, so...
Lizzie Borden, the American Woman of the 19th century who was most famous for killing her parents with an axe, was also involved in an incestuous relationship with her brother. The long lost diary of Dewey Borden, discovered in a trunk in Bangor, Ma...
(Defecated News) The race to be the year's favourite toy is an important one for parents, but more so for the manufacturers and retailers with almost 30% of typical annual turnover coming from the festive season alone. An entertainment company has l...
In a candid interview this afternoon, #1 ranked golfer Tiger Woods admitted that when he's not bedding down with super models like Rachel Uchitel he has a tendency to masturbate. "The pressure is overwhelming", Tiger revealed. "I have beautiful w...
Jeremy Clarkson, the high-profile presenter of 'Top Gear', has created controversy yet again - this time by masturbating into the glove compartment of a car belonging to a female guest of the show. The incident, which happened after filming had fi...
A glove belonging to the late Michael Jackson has been sold at auction for $1 million. The glove is made from orphans' hair and is studded with diamonds. It is the one Mr Jackson wore in many of his music videos, and it is estimated that he used it t...
45-year-old former beauty queen, former Alaska Governor and current best selling author Sarah Palin revealed in an unusually candid portion of her new book "Going Rogue" that she has frequently masturbated during her term as governor. "My husband...
Wichita, Kansas - Rick Bailey, an 82 year old former ironworker and now retired masturbater, has sent a thank you letter to the woman who has given him so much happiness. It all started back in 1941, when Rick was 14, and excited to learn that Ame...
MUMBAI - INDIA: India's Champions Trophy cricket team received some unusual advice from its (South African) coach Gary Kirsten and mental conditioning expert Paddy Upton: sex before a match increases athletic performance. In order to increase the m...
The reciprocal motion of normal male masturbation is to be harnessed to produce electricity. Each masturbator is to be issued with a small portable generator that may be concealed about the person to avoid identifying the wanker to colleagues etc.
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