The reciprocal motion of normal male masturbation is to be harnessed to produce electricity.
Each masturbator is to be issued with a small portable generator that may be concealed about the person to avoid identifying the wanker to colleagues etc. A small shopping trolley may be used to transport the storage batteries.
The first wave of volunteer generators are to attend a mass - turbate at Hyde Park, London, in early December.
Lord Mangelson, Business Secretary and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie has offered personally to supervise the event and has expressed a keen interest in getting to know the members.
Further volunteers are sought in all areas and the qualifications are simple.
1.Penises of less than 5.5" in length need not apply as the stroke is too short.
2. Members of Parliament are barred from applying as they would overload the National Grid.
3. You must be prepared to wank more than 4 times per week. This is not thought to be an issue for most of today's youth.
4. Manchester United Football Club need not apply as there is not a decent wank amongst them.
Once the generation system is up and running, a daily announcement of the power requirement will be made by Fiona Bruce who has volunteered to be the "Green Goddess of Masturbation" and will give the timing.
