Steven Gerrard has extended his current Premier League Winner indemnity agreement with Liverpool for an undisclosed period of time, the club have announced. The midfielder negotiated an extension to his existing indemnity with the Merseyside outfi...
The controversial Neil Warnock spoke out today about his sacking at QPR, pinning the blame on chairman Tony Fernandes. And West Ham. And Carlos Tevez. And the FA. And the Premier League. And the fans and players at QPR. Thats all, I think. But defini...
SKY tv presenter and disgruntled celebrity Manchester united fan Eammon 'donut' Holmes spoke out today about his beloved United's poor run of form and recent downgrading by credit rating agencies S&P, Moodys and Fitch. "The whole thing is a s...
The Manchester United business empire was in freefall this morning after the three major credit rating agencies downgraded their risk from triple A to C minus. The downgrading comes after an embarrassing run of results on the pitch over a few mon...
The British public should be granted the legal right to sue the mid-wife who successfully cleared the airways of the newborn Queens Park Rangers midfielder, Joey Barton, according to everyone polled. 100% of the population asked whether they agree...
The match is to take place at the Wembley Stadium, owned by the FA, through their subsidiary Wembley National Stadium Ltd (WNSL), to which many MP's are shareholders and advisors, later in 2011. The inspiration for such a competitive match came fr...
In the weekly EPL press conference, United boss Sir Fergus was asked whether he thought Spurs were a genuine title contender this season and he replied: "Aye, yes, ohhh definitly laddy, since they started refusing to sell us their best players las...
Fans of Football League clubs have been told to "shove it" after they complained about the lack of BBC coverage over the festive period. Highlights and goal packages from matches in the three leagues below the Premier League are usually shown afte...
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has today ruled out striker Dimitar Berbatov. The news came as a shock to the room full of unscrupulous underhanded weasels with most viewing this as a step too far from the 69 year old Scot. Reporters...
As high oil prices threaten world-wide financial stability, another energy crisis is unfolding closer to home. With Arsenal's top players 'running on empty', according to Manager Arsene Wenger, the Gunners' Chief has been forced to implement anoth...
Premiership managers will be reaching for the thesaurus in December as they are asked to take part in Cliché-free December. "I'm fed up to the back teeth of all the clichés," said Ed Balls minister for sport. "So we had a blue sky meeting and came...
Self-proclaimed football manager Neil Warnock said Sunday that he received an incredible amount of sexual satisfaction from watching opponents score goals against his Queens Park Rangers team and sincerely hoped his spirited side would concede a buck...
A top football expert refused to believe that the Manchester derby ended with City demolishing United 6-1. "Give over. You're having a laugh, aren't you," said EIF News & Features sports editor Thelonious Adidas when he heard the result. "Go o...
Foreign-owned Premier League clubs who want to scrap relegation should instead avoid employing an English manager if they want to ensure a perpetual presence in the top flight, according to League Managers Association chief Richard Bevan. Severa...
Manchester United full-back Patrice Evra has highlighted his skin colour as being the key factor in the on-field abuse he continually receives from opposition players, rather than his being a reprehensible twat for most of his working day. The Fre...
A Portsmouth pub landlady has won her case against the Premier League over the right to show matches broadcast from other countries but some reckon the decision has come too late. The European Court of Justice found that Karen Murphy had the right...
Referee Martin Atkinson has issued a "sincere" apology to Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell after he controversially sent the 20-year-old off during Saturday's Merseyside Derby. The England under-21 international was shown a straight red card for...
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