Eamonn Holmes says Manchester United fans 'starved' of success

Written by radiogagger

Saturday, 7 January 2012

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Holmes bites hard into United form

SKY tv presenter and disgruntled celebrity Manchester united fan Eammon 'donut' Holmes spoke out today about his beloved United's poor run of form and recent downgrading by credit rating agencies S&P, Moodys and Fitch.

"The whole thing is a shambles" said Holmes. "The downgrading will eat into the players confidence, but they have to step up to the plate and show they are hungry enough to wear the United shirt."

Stopping for a mouthful of a BLT sandwich he had ordered for elevenses he continued "Now is the time for the responsible players to take a bite of the cherry and deliver a feast of football for us supporters who have been starved of success over the last few months."

Speaking like a true pro Holmes declared "If any player has lost his appetite for success, then he should not be in the team - full stop.

The recent defeat to Blackburn hit me real hard - a team bottom of the food chain - I mean league table, have come to Old Trafford and dined like kings for the day - can we stop this interview now - I'm off for a KFC bucket."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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