NEVERLAND, CA-The late, not-so-great Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch in Californicate is "for sale" at "only $67 million." For this low, low price, buyers get not only remorse, but also a zoo, complete with llamas; theme park rides allegedly st...
HERMOSA BEACH, CA -- Two years ago, John Crapola, who claims to be a "stand-up comedian, if not a stand-up guy," bored his tiny audience in a nearly empty "comedy club" in Hermosa Beach, California. When he started talking about his penis, ladies nea...
NEW YAWK - Whatever letters of the alphabet they use to identify themselves, TV networks have suffered sharp declines in audience for their news programs, as more and more couch potatoes tune out. Network executives' responses have been predictabl...
ATHENS - Greedy Greeks, accustomed to freeloading off their government, took matters into their own hands when they gathered, supposedly to "protest," in an overcrowded courtroom, preventing a bank's lawyer from appearing before a judge in a "rou...
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW, OZ -- Rachel Dolezal, a white woman who claimed she "identified" as African-American now says she's "probably Asian" and believes herself to be a reincarnation of Empress Dowager Cixi of the Qing dynasty. Ironically, Dolez...
Jazz (the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender teenage girl, not the music genre) was born in 2000 or 2001, somewhere along then. Supposedly, she's a "YouTube personality," whatever that means. She's best known for wearing rainbow-colored clothing and being a Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender teenage girl. Ba Ba Wa Wa interviewed her on 20 Ditto, a television news magazine, whatever that is, broadc...
While it remains unclear as to whether NBC will allow Brian Williams to reclaim his anchor chair on its prime-time NBC News with Brian Williams program (now called NBC News without Brian Williams), the disgraced reporter has reportedly begun to craft...
New Yawk, New Yawk -- Dr. Seuss, who died in 1999, has just published a new book, What Pet Should I Get? A parody of the Dick and Jane readers by which Americans became illiterate during the 1950s, the book is written in what critics contend is "m...
Consumers, tired of having companies lecture to them about what's hip and cool and, well, morally right, are fighting back. "If Starfuchs want my five buck, none their baristas better be lecturing me bout how to live my life," Black Panther Sam Ho...
President Barry Obummer is madder than Michelle on PMS at the news that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA, for short) is spending one billion dollars "that could be better spent on propping up Obummercare," Prezident Obummer co...
Apple wants your money, as much (or as little) of it as it can get--as much being $10,000 (for Big Spenders), as little $349 (for cheapskates). That's right, the company founded by Johnny Appleseed has added wristwatches to its collection...
ISIS has built or purchased, "from parties unknown," a time machine and is traveling into Iraq's "ancient past," to destroy the Assyrian city of Nimrod, the United Nations recently whined. "We are heartbroken," archaeologists sniffed, "and outrage...
LONDON -- The royals are not above showing a little of their majestic bodies on occasion. Exhibitionist Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cornhole and wife of Prince William, is proof of that, having shown her regal tatas to the world and having flashed her...
Prezident Obummer has come clean--well, relatively clean. He confessed to having had a love affair with an alien--not an illegal alien from Mexico, but with a Vulcan--well, a half human, half-Vulcan. "I loved Spock," the prezident gushed. "H...
OUT THERE -- Famed financier Warren Buffet says his secret source of energy is in his name: buffet. "Eat like it's your last meal," he advises six-year-old schoolchildren, "and you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet!" That's where the octogenarian-pl...
SECOND CITY -- The Windy City, home to Prezident Obummer and his one-time chief of staff, Mayor-for-Now Rahm Emanuel, is (allegedly) operating a "black site" jail where prisoners are (allegedly) denied their Constitutional rights and are (allegedly)...
WINDY CITY - Despite the benefits of name recognition, Big Buck$ in campaign funds, and the endorsement of Prezident Obummer, The Windy City's incumbent mayor Rahm Emanuel was unable to secure enough votes to prevent a runoff election with his ch...
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