Rachel Dolezal, formerly white, then black, now Asian

Funny story written by Gee Pee

Sunday, 26 February 2017


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image for Rachel Dolezal, formerly white, then black, now Asian
The many faces of Rachel Dolezal

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW, OZ -- Rachel Dolezal, a white woman who claimed she "identified" as African-American now says she's "probably Asian" and believes herself to be a reincarnation of Empress Dowager Cixi of the Qing dynasty. Ironically, Dolezal-Cixi, as she now calls herself, is unable to find work, cannot pay her rent, lives on food stamps, and may soon become homeless, whereas Empress Dowager Cixi was known to have lived a life of luxury, dining on dinners which featured 108 dishes, not to mention the food served on them.

"I really am, or was, black," Dolezal-Cixi insists, "at one point, when I was head of Spokane's NAACP chapter." When her fraud was exposed, Dolezal-Cixi was fired, both from her position at the NAACP and from her position as a part-time instructor at Eastern Star University. In defending her fraudulent claims, Dolezal-Cixi said she was the "Caitlyn Jenner of race."

"The concept of race is as socially determined as sex and gender," she maintained. "Anyone, of any 'race,' can be black."

Dolezal-Cixi, who wrote a memoir of her life as a black woman, found an "independent publisher," BeenThereDoneWithThat, after the manuscript was rejected by 30 mainstream publishing houses. Her 15-page book, In Full Color: Unwelcome in Both the Black and White Worlds, is due to be released in March, April, May, or June, "as soon as my publisher can get their act together," Dolezal-Cixi predicted.

She's counting on sales of her book to finance her lifestyle as a former black, currently Asian, woman of noble lineage. "If things work out," she admitted, "there could be a sequel, The Yellow Beneath the Black, or How I Became Asian to Feed My Family When the Food Stamps Ran Out."

It's possible there could be more books, too. "Right now, I'm feeling a little Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and, in the future, I might think I'm Napoleon."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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