Luis Suarez agrees new long-term deal with Liverpool. (BBC Sport) He's going to racially abuse and refuse to shake hands with opposition players for even longer than originally expected. Dutch international Wesley Sneijder is urging Inter Milan to buy his team-mate, 27-year-old midfielder Nigel de Jong, from Manchester City. (Metro) He also wants a push-bike, a packet of sweets and a new c...
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has caught the mood of the country when it comes to cycling, riding a smart new sky-blue bike to City's training ground. (Metro) Rumours he bought the bike from Arsene Wenger for £2 million have been denied by sources at City. AC Milan have joined Liverpool and Arsenal in the race to sign Turkish international Nuri Sahin from Real Madrid after Jose Mour...
Transfer Window Gossip Ferguson confirms Man United talks with wonderkid Moura. Oscar reportedly on his way to Chelsea for £25m. (AOL) There's only a small window (about four days every July normally) that English clubs can sign players from Brazil. If they saw how much it rains on a wet and windy Tuesday in Wigan, they wouldn't join the Premier League for all the tea in China (or roubles in R...
Out-of-favour Manchester City forward Roque Santa Cruz, 30, wants to remain in the north west as he seeks new club. (Daily Mail) 'Accrington Stanley?' Gareth Southgate turned down the chance to become the FA's technical director over concerns about the job description during lengthy negotiations. (Daily Mail) Apparently he was NOT allowed to eat pizza in his lunch-hour. Manchester United...
Manchester City, champions of England, have been accused of stifling the transfer market by Arsene Wenger, Roberto Di Mateo and Alex Ferguson. Roberto Mancini replied with "Eh?" "This is disgraceful," said Wenger. "I wished to sell Van Pepsi t...
Olympic Warm Up Match - Team GB 0 Brazil 2 Team GB were outclassed by Brazil at The Riverside with first half goals from Sandro and Neymar. Just as well we didn't play them on the beach. Is it too late to instate David Beckham in the squad? Glad All Over Crystal Palace have announced the appointment of comedian and life long fan Eddie Izzard as Director. Their fans could do with a laugh.
Manchester United, Manchester City and Juventus confirm bids for Robin Van Persie from Arsenal. Leaving Wenger enough cash to sign another Frenchman... Birmingham supporter Rob Shannon has not missed one of his team's matches for 38 years, seeing the Blues play 1,800 consecutive games since 1974. And he only missed one that year because he was too ill to get out of bed. 1,800 consecutive...
Liverpool striker Andy Carroll, 23, has told his representatives to secure him a return to Newcastle. (from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle) But the Reds will seek to recoup at least £20m from the sale of Carroll this summer, a valuation that will sorely test Newcastle's aspirations to re-sign the England striker (The Guardian) I can imagine the conversation now - Liverpool: "We want £20 mi...
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger was this afternoon declared homeless after discovering Manchester City FC had bought his house! Wenger was allegedly left fuming when upon returning to his eight bedroomed palatial home in the exclusive Totteridge area o...
Various Ryan Giggs will captain Team GB football team at the Olympics. Well at least his wife will know where he is for 90 minutes. Roberto Mancini has signed a new five year contract to stay at Manchester City after interest from the Russian FA for their national job. It must have been the lovely Manchester weather and mushy peas that made his mind up. Talksport Arsenal are figh...
Talksport Alan Pardew insists he is doing everything he can to keep striker Demba Ba, 27, at Newcastle I find handcuffs work best. Daily Mail Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey, 21, admits he and his team-mates have no idea how the situation with striker Robin van Persie will pan out. Have you thought about seeing a clairvoyant? Liverpool are understood to have had a bid rejected for 25-yea...
The Sun Theo Walcott is also considering his future with Arsenal, as he enters the final year of his current deal. Judging by internet forums and radio phone-ins, 60,000 supporters are also considering their future. Daily Mail Tottenham are ready to listen to offers for Rafael van der Vaart, 29. A fee of £10m-plus is likely to be enough to capture the Dutch international attacking midfielde...
Manchester Evening News Manchester City defender Pablo Zabaleta says controversial team-mate Mario Balotelli can become one of the best players in the world if he starts using his brain more. What brain - The one in his penis? Liverpool Echo New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers has no intention of selling Welsh forward Craig Bellamy. Instead, he's going to swap him for half a dozen tracksui...
Revolutionary Bolivian dictator and left sided midfielder, Colonel Juan San Andreas, is apparently stalling in talks with Mercado Olimpica Del Satirista of La Paz, over a contract extension after being feted by Manchester 'Moneybags' City. San And...
Joey Barton, the QPR captain, who was dismissed from the field of play during the last game of the season against eventual champions Manchester City, has been found guilty of two counts of violent conduct by the FA, and has been banned for 12 matches...
Soccer exclusive: Manchester City have been stripped of their title and Man Utd will be officially sworn is as Premier League champions 2011-2012. The ceremony will take place in front of the Queen at Buckingham Palace after Chelsea have spanked the...
Government health supremo's have told Manchester City that supporting the club has been deemed to be one of the most stressful activities known to medical science. It has advised the club that from next season the match day programme should carry...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.