Susan Boyle fanatics were deeply unhappy with today's UK emergency budget, after the chancellor announced a 300% tax on red scarves. The new FAT (Fanatic's Added Tax) is expected to raise several billion Pounds, mostly from wealthy American fanatics.
Susan Boyle is to perform a series of concerts on Mars later this year, according to reports in the popular press. However, it was later revealed that this is, in fact, a hoax. "We had this email from some geezer called Mr. B.S. Artist," said Mr.
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, not content with following SuBo around the world, have today announced that they've invented a time machine. "We got bored following her around the world at our wealthy husband's expense," said a fa...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies (yes, they're back again!) were attempting to fight back with attempted humor tonight. "It only took us 6 weeks, 4 group cards, 3 collections, 18 warnings, 42 bannings, and 27 tribute videos to cobb...
A new Susan Boyle statue (or 'statSue' if you will, though you probably won't!) was unveiled to the media in London earlier today. The statue is the work of purple scarf wearing 'The McLuzernator', a member of 'Susan Fans Without a Wealthy Husband'.
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were in a panic earlier when their beloved meeting place was unavailable for several hours. It is thought the server was suffering from 'bullshit overload' and shut itself down in an attempt to save hum...
The new owners of the Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies favourite meeting place today sensationally apologised to everyone they ever banned! In a shock statement the new head chief fanatic said "We're really sorry to the hundreds of inn...
Susan Boyle was sensationally announced as the replacement headline act at this year's Glastonbury Festival, after U2 had to pull out. "Och, I'll show 'em!" said SuBo excitedly. "I've got my tent and wellies packed! Groovy boogie, babe!" Fanati...
The new owners of the Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies favourite meeting place today announced a new 'points make prizes' scheme. Members are awarded points based on the amount of useless crap they post, the number of bullying email...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies last night called in detectives to search for 51,000 missing fanatics. The loonies, who recently staged a management buyout of their beloved meeting place, were told to expect 52,000 members but could o...
A Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loony was last night recovering in hospital after pioneering surgery to remove her from her computer chair. The unnamed fanatic underwent a loonyectomy under the supervision of Dr. O. Lee-Sheet. "It appear...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were in shock tonight after learning they had been out-bid in the race to buy their beloved meeting place. They were in jubilant mood earlier, believing they had won, but a late bid was later received a...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were this morning celebrating taking over their beloved meeting place. "We only had to pay $8000 for something we had for free only yesterday! Bargain!" said the very deluded new head chief fanatic.
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were all of a flutter today, with their beloved gathering place due to be sold off to the highest bidder later. The fanatics are still attempting to raise enough money to buy it themselves. "We've pa...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were tonight showing their displeasure at SuBo talking to a man over her garden fence. SuBo was spotted chatting to the man outside her Scottish home earlier today. "How dare she speak to a man we do...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were today attempting to stage a coup to overthrow the current ruling chief fanatic. The group, calling themselves the Batty Squad, are collecting donations for the cause. "We insist we're the right...
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, distraught at their beloved gathering place being sold off, were today offered comfort by way of a new crisis helpline. The 'Fanatics Unite in Crisis and Kinship' helpline is being staffed by volunteer...
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