Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, not content with following SuBo around the world, have today announced that they've invented a time machine.
"We got bored following her around the world at our wealthy husband's expense," said a fanatic. "We felt we had to be the very first SuBo fanatics in the entire world. The only way to do that was to go back in time and turn up at her early gigs before anyone knew who she was!"
"We went back to 1984 earlier, and made a nuisance of ourselves at her gig in the Fir Park Social Club. If you look closely on the video you can see us waving our red scarves and shouting 'we love you Susan'! We asked her how Pebbles was doing, but she just looked all confused. Then we realised she hadn't actually been born yet!"
"We're going back to 2001 tomorrow to see her sing in Linlithgow. We want to tell her she has to get her teeth fixed! That should save a silly pointless argument when we get back to 2010!" said another fanatic with a wealthy husband.
"We'll be going back to 1995 as soon as we can to give that awful man Barrymore a piece of our minds! He won't know what's hit him!" seethed a fanatic clutching a stuffed monkey.
The 'Fanatic's Aeronautical Research Transporter' (FART) was developed at the Fanatic's University College of Knowledge (think about it!) and paid for by their wealthy husbands.
"We're planning on taking some of our members to a gig in 2012 later, because most of them would probably have kicked the bucket by then!" said a fanatic. "The average age of our fanatics is 122 after all!"
The FART is environmentally friendly, being powered entirely from the horseshit shovelled out of the 'shipping' thread.
