Written by Harold Q. Fuey

Friday, 21 May 2010

image for SuBo fanatics catch auction fever!
Who will win?!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were all of a flutter today, with their beloved gathering place due to be sold off to the highest bidder later. The fanatics are still attempting to raise enough money to buy it themselves.

"We've passed the collection plate around," said a fanatic. "So far we've raised $3.53, 6 buttons, a half-eaten candy bar, and a pair of underpants sporting a Canadian flag. I'm sure that will be enough!"

"They'll need to do a lot better than that!" grinned the current chief fanatic. "New houses don't pay for themselves!"

"We are praying the site doesn't get sold to some awful person who may want to change things. We insist we can go on writing semi-pornographic stories about Susan and anything in trousers! And we must be able to pray for each other!" said some fanatics deep in prayer.

Meanwhile, in a shocking twist to events, it is believed God has put in a bid. "We kept getting endless prayers from people wearing red scarves," said a spokesperson from God's office. "God decided he'd buy the thing just to get some peace and quiet!"

The auction ends later today, after which about 1000 menopausal women with nothing better to do will burst into tears, burn their red scarves, and start talking to their wealthy husbands for the first time since 1973!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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