Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were today attempting to stage a coup to overthrow the current ruling chief fanatic. The group, calling themselves the Batty Squad, are collecting donations for the cause.
"We insist we're the right people for the job! All 60 million of us will run this thing together, each taking an equal share no matter how much we donate to the cause!" said the very naïve 'Chief Batty'.
"Well I'm donating a massive amount of money, so I will obviously get to run this thing!" boasted a fanatic in California.
"Oh, big red scarf in the sky," prayed some fanatics. "Bless the cause, for we are the only people worthy of running this enterprise!"
Members of FARTS (Fanatics Acquire Riches Through Sex) were suspiciously absent from the plans. "Unfortunately, my wealthy husband is back from his 'business' trip, so I have to acquire more riches while he's home," groaned a senior member of FARTS.
Meanwhile, the current chief fanatic was furious at the plans. "How dare you attempt to overthrow me?" he roared. "I will shut your beloved meeting place down entirely if you try this. Then what are you going to do? You'd have to talk to your wealthy husbands instead. Just think of that!"
In other developments, Team Purple Incorporated have made a final offer for Fanatical Loonies Incorporated of $26, 2 jars of pickles, and a partridge in a pear tree. The CEO of FLI is said to be "very interested" in the offer, saying "anything is better than the 'Batty Squad' trying to take over."
