Written by Harold Q. Fuey

Saturday, 22 May 2010

image for SuBo fanatics in takeover shocker!
Coming soon!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were in shock tonight after learning they had been out-bid in the race to buy their beloved meeting place. They were in jubilant mood earlier, believing they had won, but a late bid was later received and accepted from The Devil.

"The Devil has wanted to takeover for a while now," said a spokesperson for Beelzebub Incorporated. "All that endless praying was making him nauseous. Naturally, all praying will stop immediately!"

"I'll do business with The Devil if the price is right!" grinned the outgoing chief fanatic, while rebooking his trip to Rio.

Fanatics were leaving in their thousands (well, hundreds, given there's hardly any left anyway).

"I'd rather wear a purple scarf than be controlled by The Devil," cried a fanatic.

"This is an outrage!" grumbled the previous winners. "We did everything we could to rig, I mean 'carefully orchestrate', the auction and now this! We were told we'd win for sure, and we believed it. Well, I guess you just can't trust some people?"

The Devil is expected to take over all administration duties soon, when his first order of business will be to fire all current 'staff' and make them listen to Kiri Te Kanawa on endless loop.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Susan Boyle




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