Ashley Cole has secretly been retained by EasyJet to identify clouds of pumescent eruptions in Europe..he is to be trialled in the cock-pit of a redesigned Jumbo Jet. It is thought that when he smells the pumice he will develop an "Ash Cone" which...
According to the latest reports, Cheryl Cole has been spending her nights with "friend", dancer Derek Hough at the home she once shared with her ex, Ashley. "Derek is a great friend and a great, great, great dancer", Cole reportedly told her neigh...
Chelsea scandal pair, John Terry and Ashley Cole have scooped the "Double" in 2010. A master performance was required from both of them and the soccer world is now a better, cleaner place, in fact they have both been recommended as ambassadors for...
South African rubber producers are said to be "shit scared" of the impending arrival of the England World Cup Squad. Spokesman Thabo M'Johnnie said "We just don't know if we will be able to keep up with the demand. John Terry and Ashley Cole on the l...
A source speaking from close to the bar in The Nag's Head public house in the West End tipped me off today that Dancing Derek Hough is all set to drop everything and come to London to take up residence on Strictly Come Dancing - in order to allow him...
Cheryl Cole is cleaning up her act. The first step is to give ash the brush off. The singer said "I need to give ash the brush off. I feel as though I have been living under a cloud. It's been choking me. I need freedom and I need clean air. I had to...
Chelsea stars John Terry and Ashley Cole are among four players shortlisted for this year's PFA award. Not the Professional Footballer's Association player of the year award, but the Professional Fucking Around performance of the year award. John...
Cheryl Cole has visited a psychic, Jusstine Kenzer, and was so impressed she plans to make another visit to see the psychic next month. In the reading Cheryl was told that love rat Ashley is her soul mate from a past life, so now Cheryl can't wait to...
A bunch of people claiming to be close friends of Chelsea football star Ashley Cole, recently separated from Cheryl, the famous one, have expressed concerns regarding his welfare. We were informed that since the split, Cole has locked himself away...
LITTLE SANDY, England - Girls Aloud member Sarah Harding was in Little Sandhurst visiting an aunt, Dandelion Wannabirkin, who only yesterday gave birth to septuplets. The seven babies are doing fine and are presently identified as: me first, me se...
Ever one to keep abreast of changing times, rumour has it that Cheryl Cole will shortly announce that she is reverting to her Maiden Name of Tweedy, as part of her rehabilitation following the collapse of her marriage to broken-legged love-rat Ashley...
Ashley Cole was astounded! He had heard stories about the very sexy Camel Toe before from his buddies, but never saw one himself up until last night! That's when his friend, actress Anita Briem surprised him by showing him a great big fat one! It...
Reports that Chelsea and England footballer Ashley Cole was to produce a 'Memories' book containing photographs of happier times in a bid to win back the love of estranged wife Cheryl Cole have proven to be nothing but lies, fantasies and fabrication...
LONDON - Public Relations Guru Matthew Freud, no relation to the Lloyd Freud family of West Wickham, took the old Ukrainian phrase 'Let them eat chocolate cake' quite literally. The two British chaps were at London's Annabel's Nightclub celebratin...
Freed from their sex therapy clinic near St Andrews, Scotland the bad boys, Terry, Cole, Wood and Owens are having a rare day out at the home of golf, St Andrews. Things did not begin well as Tiger was banned from the posh locker room by the up th...
LONDON - Cheryl Cole has hired one of the best divorce attorneys in the United Kingdom to represent her in her divorce against her husband Ashley "I Just Can't Seem Ta Keep Me Wiggle Worm In Me Pants" Cole. Reginald Nigel Liddyford, of Upper Tooti...
Scoop decided to take a look at the Cole family tree and I discovered he is! When I spoke to Ash he said "I don't like to use my family to open doors but yes there are a lot of us. Probably the most famous is my distant relative 'Old King Cole,'...
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