Is Ashley Cole descended from royal blood?

Funny story written by Proffitt

Monday, 15 March 2010

image for Is Ashley Cole descended from royal blood?
Ashley's royal connection

Scoop decided to take a look at the Cole family tree and I discovered he is!

When I spoke to Ash he said "I don't like to use my family to open doors but yes there are a lot of us. Probably the most famous is my distant relative 'Old King Cole,' who I understand was a merry old sole."

"Then there was another 'King' in my uncle Nat. I never got to know him but I am in touch with Natalie," said Ashley. Cole who recently split with his wife Cheryl and honed his football skills from kick arounds with his Brother Andy. "Yea Andy taught me well. We still link up with Joe (another footballing brother) when we get chance," said Ash.

"I love going to see Kenneth when I'm in The Big Apple. He has promised to design us all a pair of football boots! I also visit Keyshia while I'm there and she sings to me," he mused.

Last but not least is his cousin Brendan. The sequin wearing Cole taught Ash everything he knows about dancing and even choreographed the first dance at their wedding. "Ah Brendan, I was wondering when you would get to him. He worked with Cheryl for much of her routines but I guess that's her loss now.

Christmas is a real family get together with all the Coles. "We all gather singing 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,' to remember Nat he said with a smile.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more