Local man Martin Shuttlecock was this morning relaxing in bed with a nice cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits following a heart stopping visit to his local all-night supermarket, accompanied by long suffering wife, Anne. Shuttlecock, not usuall...
Bengie the dog is at it again: making predictions that have stunned the local community with their horror and foreboding. If it was any other dog most folk would ignore his pointless ramblings, but Bengie's previous visions have proved so accurat...
Local man Tom Wilbourne - a self-proclaimed hateful bastard - is in attendance at the International Hateful Bastards Summit in Blackpool. Tom, 25, says he is honoured to be representing the local community and rubbing shoulders with some of the pl...
When the mother of local boy Jimmy Rodgers awoke her darling son this morning for school she was in for a big surprise - little Jimmy had become a man. "I had just prepared his Coco Pops and orange juice and came up the stairs to make sure he...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock, could barely contain his excitement when wife Anne returned from her customary Saturday shopping extravaganza to announce that she had brought him back a special treat. After helping to unload the family car of myriad...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock has gone into hiding again, according to his long suffering wife Anne. Shuttlecock has a history of going into hiding for no apparent reason, and it's all proving to be quite a trial for his wife. The first time Shuttl...
Local man Darren Fart, 32, keeps his balls in his wife's handbag whenever they are out shopping. Darren claims that they are much safer there and there is less likelihood of young children getting their hands on them. Darren's balls are very im...
A local dog has hit out against claims that he is responsible for coating the streets in sticky, brown doggie doo-doo. Barky the dog, 2, has said that he is suffering 'emotional turmoil' and 'stress' after rumours throughout the local village bega...
Local woman Gloria Bumsrush, 48, has become something of a local celebrity after racing to the top of the book charts with her novel 'Gnome Offender'. Not surprisingly, the inspiration for the book came from looking out her window at the little be...
Local man Kevin King, 28, has become something of a local celebrity after he appeared at the local Dolly Parton festival in Mrs. Bridges garden last week topless. You see Kevin had just recently undergone breast augmentation surgery - just like hi...
BOSTON, MA - Clyde McConnel, a Mass Transit dispatcher, reportedly loves to have sex with his wife according to sources. McConnel, 38, has been married to his wife, Stacey, for 12 years, and apparently loves to give it to her on a frequent basis.
Local man Martin Shuttlecock was left in tatters today, his nerves in shreds following wife Anne's attempt to reduce the family's carbon footprint by buying a whistling kettle from an internet auction site. The whistling kettle, which reduces ener...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock today narrowly averted making a complete and utter arse of himself on Valentine's Day thanks to an eagle eyed mate of his who'd popped round for a cup of tea on his way to the shops for a paper and a bottle of milk. Sh...
A rail disaster was averted today after the quick thinking of a passenger with a one-track mind. Local man, Norbert Nuckles, 51, is obsessed with trains - so obsessed that he sleeps with them. Sexually. "I enjoy the experience of when they go t...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was delighted to find an antique artefact packed in a cardboard box in the back of a little used cupboard in his house. Initially, Shuttlecock thought that the box contained Christmas decorations, but as he moved it, the weight suggested otherwise. With curiosity getting the better of him, Shuttlecock opened the box, and much to his surprise discovered that the box...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock remained in hiding today following the horrific discovery he made Sunday at the Shuttlecock family residence - a discovery which caused him to flee the house screaming, wearing nothing but the clothes he stood up in, and...
Local man Tom Wilbourne, 25, is a complete and utter bastard - or so he claims. Pissing in neighbours garden's, stealing pocket money and sweets from school children and letting the air out of parked cars are just some of the 'funny little things'...
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