Local Man Attends Hateful Bastard Summit

Written by St Patrick

Thursday, 4 March 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Local Man Attends Hateful Bastard Summit

Local man Tom Wilbourne - a self-proclaimed hateful bastard - is in attendance at the International Hateful Bastards Summit in Blackpool.

Tom, 25, says he is honoured to be representing the local community and rubbing shoulders with some of the planets most hideously distasteful fucking pricks.

Stalls have been set up to showcase international traditions of bastardum such as Australian immigration searches, the election policy of Iran, and Scotland's infamous 'tossing a half pint of ale at the black fella'.

Tom will be demonstrating his 'setting farts on fire' technique at a special skills booth sponsored by Tesco.

Special guest speaker Tony Blair will be giving a keynote address on being a conniving, grinning cunt, whilst Roman Polanski will be showing younger audience members his own magic tricks - such as 'hide the turnip' and then disappearing for several decades.

Hoteliers in Blackpool have been doing a brisk trade. Waitresses described how they were 'well used to' bastards acting like knobs but that they were trying to adapt to such a huge influx of them all at once.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more