Local Man Goes Into Hiding

Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 20 February 2010

image for Local Man Goes Into Hiding
Surely He's Not In There!

Local man Martin Shuttlecock has gone into hiding again, according to his long suffering wife Anne. Shuttlecock has a history of going into hiding for no apparent reason, and it's all proving to be quite a trial for his wife.

The first time Shuttlecock went into hiding was during a romantic weekend city break to Paris on that train that goes underwater.

"We was strolling down the Champs Elysees and he just disappeared," Anne told us.

Eventually the Gendarmerie had to be called, a manhunt was launched, and a confused Martin Shuttlecock was eventually discovered hiding underneath a parked car the following day.

Since that first occasion, Shuttlecock has gone missing several times, usually turning up within an hour or two, but his wife reports that Shuttlecock's unusual behaviour has taken on a new twist:

"He doesn't just hide now," Anne told us. "He flits about. One second he'll be hiding behind the sofa, then seconds later he'll be trying to squeeze behind the fridge, then he'll be up in the attic, then crouching in the plants in the garden. Or in the shed. I just have to keep an eye on him in case he decides to hide in the wardrobe like that McQueen fellow who was in the Great Escape and made dresses and stuff. He liked hiding too, and look what happened to him. Dangerous business this hiding is and that's a fact."

We couldn't find Martin Shuttlecock for a comment, but we did hear scratching sounds from under the stairs.

More when we find him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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