Stories have surfaced regarding upcoming criminal charges brought against pop singer Michael Jackson by Pinocchio. In a written avadavat seen by a popular entertainment website, Jackson was named as the defendant in a sexual molestation claim by...
Michael Jackson has left his children and his entire estate to his best friend and companion Bubbles the chimpanzee, after the missing will was eventually discovered tucked down the back of the toilet. The simian mischief-maker is now the legal gu...
Michael Jackson's autopsy photos show that the pale-skinned star really was a black man after all. Pathologists measured his member at almost 18 inches long - showcasing that no amount of fucking around with his skin could take away his black roo...
Publicity hungry has-beens have crawled out of the woodwork to offer praise for Michael Jackson. Mark Lester - who played Oliver in the movie Oliver Twist and was godfather to one of Jackson's brats - said Jackson was an inspiration to all paedop...
A French mystic has predicted that more Hollywood stars will die before the end of this year. Nostrodamus - who writes a load of vague shite in 'rhyming couplets' - issued a warning to all the Hollywood jet set: "Come the earthy solar bend Th...
Michael Jackson's number one fan has taken the unusual step of contacting the media to tell them to relax a bit with all the coverage the superstar's death has been garnering. Josie Walsh, who lives alone with her three cats - Prince Michael, Prin...
After the incredibly response of concert goers not asking for refunds, event promoters have released tickets for 50 more dates that Michael Jackson will not play in London. This will now make 100 concert dates in which Jackson - who is dead &#...
Billy (not Willy) Mays who sold us all those WONDERFUL products over the years has passed away almost unnoticed during the "Dying Spell" as we in the South call it, last week at the age of 50. However, the effect of Billy's passing will have a bi...
Beverly Hills, CA - It has been revealed that Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, may in fact be the biological father of his children. As well as children, Dr. Klein supplied Michael Jackson with many of his medical needs, including,...
The magazine's report, appearing in the issue that hits the newsstands Wednesday, is based on internal documents, e-mails, photographs and tape recordings supplied by an anonymous employee of the Elcor Life Extension Foundation. After Michael Jack...
Los Angeles - (Rioters): Was Michael Jackson taking the human growth hormone somatropin in a bid to stimulate a pathologically retarded metabolism? That's the question plagueing Jackson family autopsy specialists after traces of carpal tunnel synd...
Napa, Ca - Joe Jackson, father of the late Michael Jackson, aka 'The King Of Pop', has planted a vineyard at Neverland and will start marketing 'Jesus Juice', a fizzy wine product, aimed at introducing alcohic beverages to pre-teens. "We have to s...
Los Angeles - (ReUterus): Forensic gynacologists are studying the DNA of Michael Jackson's two elder (sic) children Prince Michael I and Paris Katherine after polygamy nutter Warren Jeffs' sperm tested positive. The jailed fundamentalist is believ...
Los Angeles - (Toxic Ass Mess): Several kilos of the powerful equine stimulant/NMDA receptor antagonist Ketamine have been removed from Michael Jackson's Bel Air mansion according to press reports. Police said today that the popular party circuit...
Los Olivos, CA - Like a scene from the music video, Thriller, workmen preparing for a public viewing of Michael Jackson at Neverland Ranch, have uncovered over 350 naked corpses, all buried in six foot deep graves. Where these entities came from is a...
Migaloo, the rare white humpback whale that has made an appearance off the east coast of Australia, has the same condition as the recently deceased 'King of Pop', Michael Jackson. With uncanny similarity to 'Wacko Jacko' it is believed that Migalo...
The reading of the last will and testament of the late, great King of Pop, Michael Jackson, was revealed here in Los Angeles this afternoon, and shocked those present, who included the singer's parents, both as mad as hatters. Joe and Katherine Ja...
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