The New York High Times - In a reaction to the delays and confusion that marked the agency's response to Hurricane Katrina and other 2005 hurricanes, the House passed a disaster loan bill.
The New York High Times - WASHINGTON, April 18 - Democrats watched in horror as the Republican Majority, now known as "The Empire," Struck Back today.
EP (Exasperated Press) - Today, Dick Cheney found out where babies come from. You could see the glee in his eyes as he touched his alleged daughter's belly and listened for noises.
When the Archangel Michael reached Heaven with news that people were comparing George W. Bush to Richard M. Nixon, the late Richard Nixon rolled over in his grave, then rose from the dead to protest the matter.
LONDON (ASP) - Today, Prime Minister Tony Blair adopted U.S. President George Bush's strategy to reduce self-image in the country. The AFP headline released was: "Morbidly obese: bigger Britons need fatter furnaces"...
WASHINGTON (Routers) -- President Bush warned Sudan's president, Omar Hassan al-Bashir, on Wednesday that he has one last chance to stop violence in Darfur "or ELSE."...
The Magic Flute that inspired Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to compose his opera, Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute) was found on a Vienna Beach by archaeologist Prof. Anna L. Dallapiccola, Art Historian, formerly Prof. of Art History, South Asian...
EP (Exasperated Press) - Today in Washington, George W. Bush signed a bill into law that was written by his administration. The new law puts an end to the U.S. Constitution. It will now be illegal for any U.S. Citizen to own or display a copy of th...
EP (Exasperated Press) - Animal Rights activists rallied world-wide today to protest the new problem with animals addicted to drugs. Alan Dershowitz and Laurence Tribe of Harvard Law School were there to show their support.
Don Imus, Rev. Al Sharpton, Rev. Jesse Jackson, and Michael Jackson have decided to form a Rap group, The Nappy Headded Hos.
Gaza (ENN) - Today, scientists discovered a half-man, half-pteredactyl in the hills of Gaza. Fearing that it was a spawn of Satan, Israeli soldiers, armed with machine guns, shot it down in a rain of fire.
Story from ENN (Exasperated News Network) - Today President Bush asked the Drug Czar to issue a statement to all schools following the shootings at Virginia Tech. President Bush urges all students to say "No" to marijuana and "Yes&quo...
Today, Tony Blair received a wedding proposal from President George W. Bush. The letter stated that President Bush has had enough of Laura and he wanted to be with the one person who supported him on all the tough issues.
The New York High Times - Bush Allies gathered yesterday to block a bill that would have required the White House to disclose the locations of secret prisons run by the Central Intelligence Agency and to reveal the amount spent annually by American i...
Moktada al-Sadr, the rebellious Shiite cleric, withdrew six cabinet members because of their ties to the Bush administration and Bush's refusal to set a time limit for pulling out of Iraq.
Vice President Dick Cheney was delighted to hear that the gunman at Virginia Tech was Korean. "NOW we have a good excuse to make a nucular first strike against Korea! Halliburton will make billions off of rebuilding Korea! A...
President George Bush and U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales held a press conference today about the tragic shooting of the thirty-three slain at Virginia Tech. President Bush said, "It may be sad, but look on the bright side of it. Now th...
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