Written by Cal Jennings

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

image for Animal Rights Activists Outraged at Animal Drug Problem
Bird snorting cocaine

EP (Exasperated Press) - Animal Rights activists rallied world-wide today to protest the new problem with animals addicted to drugs. Alan Dershowitz and Laurence Tribe of Harvard Law School were there to show their support.

Laurence Tribe said, "With Rap 'Music' glamorizing the use of Crack Cocaine, animals everywhere are becoming addicted."

The pair intends to open a 12-Step Clinic for addicted animals at Harvard this summer. They plan on piping in Classical Music and Soft Rock. The problem is where the funding will come from. Said Dershowitz, "We are considering asking the CIA for partial funding since part of the problem comes from them selling Cocaine to promote their covert operations. The rest will probably be up to the taxpayers."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Drugs, Animal Rights

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