The Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney shocked the whole of the football world this morning when it emerged that the England team coach, Fabio Capello, is his REAL DAD! Further details are unavailable, due, primarily, to the fact t...
The England fan who caused a security alert when he wandered into the team's dressing room after their goalless draw with Algeria at the World Cup says he was only looking for the toilet. Fan Pavlos Joseph, managed to evade heavy security by using...
Disgraced France football star Nicolas Anelka is preparing this morning to set sail for French Guiana aboard a prison ship bound for the penal colony of Devil's Island. The island is the place to where Hollywood stars Steve McQueen - wrongly accus...
England coach Fabio Capello has quit his post. The sensational news hit the airwaves this morning after a turbulent weekend at the England camp, at the end of a week which saw the national team held by the USA and Algeria, and the Italian is said...
Footballing minnows, New Zealand, last night emerged as the new favourites to win the World Cup after their hard-fought and well-deserved point in their 1-1 draw with current world champions Italy in Nelspruit. The workmanlike Kiwis staked their c...
Yes, that's right, they're the England players. - Anyone who has been watching England's group matches will have to concede the team has not looked inspired or enthusiastic. Well all that is about to change. England have drafted in a new team of...
Insiders in the England camp tell us that the entire squad is unsettled, and growing increasingly frustrated with the iron discipline enforced by Fabio Capello. We were reliably informed that Peter Crouch is desperately missing the dulcet tones an...
LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber was having lunch at a local Jack-in-The-Box when he received a text message from his manager. He was informing him that the president of North Korea Kim Jong Il had just offered him 10 million Wons [$698,913 U.S.] to p...
It is no secret that Americans, especially those of the Conservative element, neither understand nor care for the sport which is actually known as Football to the rest of the world. However, there are many avid soccer fanatics within the United Stat...
England chieftain Fabio Capello has revealed his latest motivational ploy to kick-start his team's stuttering World Cup Campaign - he will shave his head and wear the hair as a beard for as long as England remain in the tournament. The (slap)head...
The Algerians had a secret weapon. They employed local Zulu magicians or witchdoctors called Sangoma. The sangoma has to satisfy a demand for 'umuthi' (medicine) to prevent misfortune. In South Africa, all football teams have a sangoma who is take...
Jaggedone decided to research this strange phenomenom and sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Johann van de Wank into the headquarters of Dutch footy excellence, the Ajax Amsterdam Academy, here his shocking report: Overhearing...
In a last ditch, desperate attempt to save England, a speachless Fab-u-loseio Capello has ordered a top Zuid Afrikaans Witch Doctor in to try and rid England of that ancient curse "Loseritis". (translated in perfect Zulu = Spoilt Brat-itis) Jagged...
George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, is preparing his emergency budget for next Wednesday. Following Britain's disastrous showing at the Eurovision song contest a double blow of England exiting from the World Cup in the first round and Mur...
It was a night all England fans will long remember after a great result in Africa saw the England national team stun their group rivals Algeria with a performance of real quality in the Camel Racing World Cup. Still smarting after a disappointing...
England training Camp, South Africa: Embedded into the England team during the World Cup, our on the spot reporter, has been able to gain access to the latest Fabio Capello hard hitting Tommy Cooper jokes! On the training pitch has told the playe...
France's dismal World Cup Campaign took a turn for the worst last night when it emerged there after game dinner was arranged for a Mexican Restaurant. The embarrassing 2-0 defeat last night to Mexico was only the start of a disastrous day for the Fr...
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