New Zealand New Favourites To Win World Cup

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 21 June 2010

image for New Zealand New Favourites To Win World Cup
Ay! Yo bastardi!

Footballing minnows, New Zealand, last night emerged as the new favourites to win the World Cup after their hard-fought and well-deserved point in their 1-1 draw with current world champions Italy in Nelspruit.

The workmanlike Kiwis staked their claim as 'new best team in the world' by virtue of the fact that they DID NOT - as so many other teams have done - concede a last-minute goal against the Italians who, by hook or by crook - usually by crook - manage to 'fashion' a goal when faced with an emabarrasing result.

This 'goal' is usually preceded by an element of 'chicanery' or fakery on the Italians' part, involving a player plunging unaided to the turf, often holding a limb in total agony, grimacing as if a bullet were lodged in his spleen, and rolling around like a baby on a carpet. Fucking cheats.

The All Blacks/All Whites, with their stupid pre-match Haka dance, will now go into their final game with Paraguay with their confidence sky-high, and with Jonah Lomu set to return to the side, must fancy their chances of going all the way.

One elated Kiwi fan told us:

"I'm gonna go back to me 'otel, get meself a coupla tinnies, and bladdy well shear meself a coupla sheep!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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