A routine prime ministerial brain scan has shown a large quantity of nuts piled inside Theresa May's brain cavity. A doctor described the results as surprising, and said, "Normally, we would expect to find the brain there." The nuts are mostly aco...
Five baby squirrels who were entangled by their tails have had copies of the knots forwarded to the Global Nautical Society. The zoo keeper who eventually untangled the knots, after hours of de-knotting, is a keen part time skipper of an infamous...
Karlsruhe, Deutschland—A terrified man called police when he was threatened by a squirrel. The tiny rodent, whom authorities identified as a baby, was in hot pursuit of the victim when police arrived on the scene. “It was a sight to behold,” on...
Rocky Squirrel celebrated a victory in a Portland, Maine court today by being awarded the right to not only obtain a handgun but, also, to get a concealed hand gun permit. After the verdict Rocky hugged his lawyer Jerry Meisterfibber as well as his...
Pyongyang, North Korea North Korean rotund dictator Kim Jong Un, in an effort to make the labor camps more "cheery," has added petting zoos to all of the labor camps located in North Korea. "My father got executed yesterday but I felt much better...
MITCHELL, SOUTH DAKOTA - A spokesman for the Corn Palace, a famous South Dakota landmark, announced today they have discovered the cause of the destruction of the structure. The Corn Palace, a large, ornate structure covered in decorative murals...
HOUSTON - NASA spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb has just made the scientific news media aware of a very interesting discovery. According to satellite photos that were taken this past week, the planet Saturn, which is the sixth planet from the sun, ha...
In his bid to make the world are more aesthetic place that is safer, easier to navigate and largely yellow and purple, Dyson's new range of bird feeders have hit the trees and branches of suburbia. "It's an elegant design," said Ellie James, an e...
The US Senate cafeteria has been renowned for its bean soup. In a bulletin released today, cafeteria management announced that it is replacing the famous bean Soup with fried squirrel. The statement reads in part: "In an effort to keep up with th...
White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, confirmed today that a blind squirrel named "Morris" had "surreptitiously entered the White House this past week, and indeed had found a nut in the Oval Office." Denying the report published in...
An Al Queda influenced jihadist squirrel attempted to create maximum havoc at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks recently. Successfully penetrating the high security at an electrical substation, the fanatical rodent managed to blow out the campuse...
Red squirrels will soon been seen hopping through the forests and up and down trees in gardens across England. They used to be a common sight until the greys were introduced from North America a number of decades ago. The grey squirrels are said...
The cute little squirrel that you have been hand feeding in your back yard has now multiplied 100 times and is looking for food and shelter. According to biology studies on these mammals if something isn't done to stop their breeding our homes wi...
In a bid to save the indigenous red squirrel the government is asking us to kill any grey squirrel we should happen to see. Gangs of unemployed youths are being taken to wooded areas with instructions to club all grey squirrels to death. Minister...
Now the subject of much controversy, an unnamed scientific organization in Bern, Switzerland now claims that the common squirrel, in fact, evolved from bananas. The president of the organization, Murman Dinkles, says he wasn't surprised. "I me...
Grey squirrels are seeking protection from ethnic cleansing in a new bid to establish immigration rights in the UK. It was emphatically not the Tufty Club. It was emphatically not Squirrel Nutkin. It was emphatically not the anti-split-infinitive...
Rumors abound about a squirrel woman and her insatiable appetite for collecting men's nuts. Hospitals are reporting an unusual number of balless males appearing in emergency rooms hysterically screaming about their missing testicles and one or anothe...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
