The US Senate cafeteria has been renowned for its bean soup. In a bulletin released today, cafeteria management announced that it is replacing the famous bean Soup with fried squirrel.
The statement reads in part: "In an effort to keep up with the requests, or in this case, demands, of our new clientele, we are replacing our famous bean soup with fried squirrel. The dish will be accompanied by a side dish of collard greens and, pork hocks and for the first time in our history, toothpicks will be provided at each place setting."
A media source is also reporting that a majority of the new Tea Party members have chosen to live and sleep in their offices. It's not known if this is for economic reasons or because the small ofices are more comfortable and clean than their homes. Each office, in fact, has a private bathroom and shower facilities.
When learing each office has has a private bathroom and shower facilities. Congressman T. J. McCorkleCongressman T. J. McCorkle of North Carolina told a journalist, "Whooeee, I even got my own John! I'm gonna have Emma Lou come up for a visit, maybe even move her in, bring the younguns and Sniff, the hound dog. Plenty of things to sniff here, if you know what I mean!"
In related news, the new Tea Party members are going in mass to the government commissary, Walter Reed Hospital, and more than a few have applied for food stamps. "Ain't nothin better than working for the gobmint," said McCorkle.
The manager of the Senate cafeteria, who has held the job for over forty years, resigned today stating, "I think I'm going to puke!"