WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden said he has had it with Exxon-Mobil, Shell, Conoco, Chevron, and Phillips 66, and thinking that they can keep on gauging the pockets of every man and woman in the nation. He pointed out that each…
In what many consider the most encouraging climate news of the decade, it's been reported that nighttime temperatures in Antarctica dipped below freezing on at least two occasions in June of 2019. "Clearly our efforts to reduce greenhouse gas em...
Again, the medium Maude Smithie of Los Angeles claims to have channeled the voice of the 20th century cynic and satirist H.L. Menken. I present what he allegedly said because, at least to this reporter, it seems plausible. Says Menken: "In his...
In a startling turn about "Slick" Jim Mason, CEO of Exxon announced that he has seen the light and is reversing his opinion on climate change. "I think," Mason said, "fossil fuels does cause global warmin' and climate change." Jim took off his cow...
Up and running for president Hillary Clinton has announced, "Let's be clear. Military options for Iran are on the table." Meanwhile, Mr. Obama has indicated the "big stick" regarding Ukraine (i.e. military action) is "off the table." It has been...
Houston, Texas -- As gasoline prices ratchet up past the $4-a-gallon mark, the oil industry is preparing a more luxurious way to present its increasingly costly product to consumers. "Think expensive fragrances, top-shelf liquor and premium cosmet...
Capitalizing on the huge amount of publicity given to "green energy", oil giant Exxon has doubled its market share by using food dye to physically color its gasoline green. The move has been accompanied by a fanfare of publicity around Exxon's "Cl...
Doha - The Qatari Emir's favorite wife has been fingered in a WikiLeaks expose demanding $280m from US energy giant Exxon to featherbed a pet hobby. Big Oil sources immediately responded by offering Sheikha Mozzad bint Nasser Al Missned their prof...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The California Highway Patrol and several Northern California Sheriffs' Departments tonight launched a manhunt for Clark Kent, 35, who aroused suspicions when he was seen frantically searching the streets of San Francisco's touris...
London - (Snake Oil Ass mess): A rogue oil trader whose billion-dollar crude bender cost employers over $10 million in losses is in all likelihood Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson's personal bum bandit. City of London police investigating the June 30...
Washington AC/DC - (Big Oil Mess): President O'Bama has ordered Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to dump Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson "into the nearest deep sea crude well" according to this week's BigOilShagger! magazine. The move follows the sup...
BEVERLY HILLS, California - The Exxon-Mobil Corporation has just announced that its 2008 profits of $45.2 billion have broken the all-time world's record (again!). CEO Grover Aronofsky-Oliveback stated that his company made a damn good profit, but...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Bush announced during a press conference this morning that Congress has approved a $870 billion bailout plan for major oil companies. Over the past six weeks, the cost of oil has plummeted to nearly a third of its record hi...
(Hell On Earth) - In a surprise move, ExxonMobile has decided to sell all of their 2,220 gas stations in order to focus full time on war profiteering. Company spokesman Beezle A. Bub announced the move today in a hastily arranged press conference at...
Top Exxon executives announced today that they have come up with a plan that will give a SUV with each fill up, a move that top brass says is their way to give back to the American people.
July, 2011 - Mobil Oil Company announced today that it could no longer compete against alternative energy sources and it will be filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Shares of Mobil stock closed at $0.97, down from $86.52 ju...
Higher demand, lower supply, an uncertain stock market and unrest in the Middle East have forced oil prices to levels never seen before in the annals of history. Oil closed yesterday at $2,489.00 per barrel.
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