London - (Snake Oil Ass mess): A rogue oil trader whose billion-dollar crude bender cost employers over $10 million in losses is in all likelihood Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson's personal bum bandit.
City of London police investigating the June 30th betting binge have probed reports that Dave 'Brent' Crudass was in regular physical contact with Tillerson and used private 'consultancy fees' to kick-start the scam.
Swingeing salary cuts may have caused Tillerson, 69, to attempt a bit of insider trading to boost his cash-strapped lifestyle, according to Fraud Squad sources.
Maintenance of his personal cruiser - the superyacht 'Tits' that he bought in a fire-sale from Brunei's Prince Jefri Archer - reportedly costs more than double all the legitimate monthly expenses Tillerson can claim from Exxon.
Nick Leeson is staying schtum.
