Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Friday, 12 October 2012

England 5 San Marino 0

Rooney 2, Wellbeck 2, Oxlade-Chamberlein.

A very proud moment for me, captaining the team at Wembley, in the absence of Gerrard (community service) and Lampard (over-eating).

We should have won by more goals, but the Marino put 11 men behind the ball. I scored the opening goal from the penalty spot and the third, before the gaffer substituted me, with 15 minutes to go. Well pissed off, cos I wanted to score a hat-trick.

Almost tweeted how much an idiot the manager is, and then remembered the new code of conduct brought in after Ashley Cole called the FA c*nts!

I'll save the insults for a chapter in my next book.