Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 5 July 2012

What with England's farce and exit from the Euro, getting pissed and falling into a tree, I may not have had much to shout lately - but I've just had me first race winner today wiv me third nag Yourartisonfire at Haydock!

I bought the Elaine Burke-trained two-year-old in partnership with the Sunderland defender John O'Shea, among others.

If I could move like that horse, we might have won the Euro!